On atheists and closets.
Dec. 20th, 2017 03:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blimixThis really should have been a blog post, not just a Facebook post. Let's remedy that now.
[Regarding National Coming Out Day.] The only thing I've got (that I can think of) is atheist, and I've never been closeted about that.
I don't much participate in the "atheist community," whatever that is (aside from spending some time on the subreddit a while back), but I gather that it is heavy with white males. My suspicion is that this does not represent atheists in general, but rather that "out" atheists skew that way: Toward people with enough privilege that they will suffer fewer social repercussions by being out. I noticed that the atheists on Reddit never pressured people to come out. It was always, "If being known as an atheist would endanger you or otherwise cause problems for you, then keep pretending." In my case, it was more like a complete lack of understanding of social repercussions that helped me along.
I was a Boy Scout for a couple of years. At our summer camp, we had mandatory weekly religious services. I didn't even know enough to realize the absurdity of making all the religious folks have their services at the same time, but I knew it was absurd to make me go to one. Still, I had to pick one, so I chose Jewish. Now, I wasn't raised particularly Jewishly: The only Hebrew I knew was the Hannukah prayer, and I couldn't have translated it. So people were randomly standing and sitting and participating around me, and I had no idea what was going on. This caught the attention of the kid next to me, and I explained that I didn't really belong there, because I was an atheist. He said, "Atheist, huh? Does that mean you sacrifice animals?"
If I lived somewhere else, or had less privilege, that would be the least of the hostility and ignorance I'd have had to deal with. No beheadings for me (yet)! So, um, to all you closeted atheists out there: Paint that frickin' closet whatever calming colors you have to, to make it comfortable. Put a nice mattress in it. And when you decide to come out, start with the people you trust most. Gauge their reactions to see if you want to keep going. If you live where you can be killed for it, get out before you come out.
And to all you white male atheists out there: If you see a lack of people who don't look like you at that conference, it's not because you're more rational than everyone else. It's because the folks you don't see are smart, and they're playing this game at a way deeper level than you know it can go.
[Regarding National Coming Out Day.] The only thing I've got (that I can think of) is atheist, and I've never been closeted about that.
I don't much participate in the "atheist community," whatever that is (aside from spending some time on the subreddit a while back), but I gather that it is heavy with white males. My suspicion is that this does not represent atheists in general, but rather that "out" atheists skew that way: Toward people with enough privilege that they will suffer fewer social repercussions by being out. I noticed that the atheists on Reddit never pressured people to come out. It was always, "If being known as an atheist would endanger you or otherwise cause problems for you, then keep pretending." In my case, it was more like a complete lack of understanding of social repercussions that helped me along.
I was a Boy Scout for a couple of years. At our summer camp, we had mandatory weekly religious services. I didn't even know enough to realize the absurdity of making all the religious folks have their services at the same time, but I knew it was absurd to make me go to one. Still, I had to pick one, so I chose Jewish. Now, I wasn't raised particularly Jewishly: The only Hebrew I knew was the Hannukah prayer, and I couldn't have translated it. So people were randomly standing and sitting and participating around me, and I had no idea what was going on. This caught the attention of the kid next to me, and I explained that I didn't really belong there, because I was an atheist. He said, "Atheist, huh? Does that mean you sacrifice animals?"
If I lived somewhere else, or had less privilege, that would be the least of the hostility and ignorance I'd have had to deal with. No beheadings for me (yet)! So, um, to all you closeted atheists out there: Paint that frickin' closet whatever calming colors you have to, to make it comfortable. Put a nice mattress in it. And when you decide to come out, start with the people you trust most. Gauge their reactions to see if you want to keep going. If you live where you can be killed for it, get out before you come out.
And to all you white male atheists out there: If you see a lack of people who don't look like you at that conference, it's not because you're more rational than everyone else. It's because the folks you don't see are smart, and they're playing this game at a way deeper level than you know it can go.
