Behind the wheel Buddhism
Jan. 7th, 2009 04:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blimixI realized that I have something to learn from eastern Massachusetts drivers. But first, let's establish some context.
...
This is a typical example of how I might change lanes on I-95 near Boston.
In contrast, this is how an eastern Massachusetts driver might handle the same circumstance:
This is not nearly as dangerous as it sounds, because eastern Massachusetts drivers expect each other to do this. The person to their left, if any, will merely swerve left to avoid them. The person to the left of that one, if any, will do the same, and so on. The chance that this results in a car in the left lane swerving into a guardrail is... Well, it's Somebody Else's Problem.
In fact, any lane change, emergency or not, will be executed this way. One could accurately claim, if one didn't mind giving offense, that the Boston area driving paradigm involves no concern for whether one endangers or hits other cars; it is only concerned with not getting hit by other cars. Consideration, planning ahead and even looking ahead are as relevant to Boston driving as classical opera training is to singing Karaoke.
Here's where I should put in a disclaimer, except that I shouldn't. My generalizations cannot apply to everyone. You in particular, my gentle reader and native eastern Massachusetts driver, are in fact the best driver in the world. You know you are, and we all know it too, which is why it does not need mentioning. Similarly to disclaim, two of my New York friends drive with nearly as little forethought and consideration as typical eastern Massachusetts drivers do. The fact that both of them have clinically diagnosed attention deficits does not merit dwelling upon.
I must now admit the limitation to the paradigm within which I have viewed eastern Massachusetts drivers. Consider a game of chess. One player carefully looks four moves ahead, and is intent on winning. The other considers only their current move, playing mostly by whim. The former player is sure to win. Yet, the latter player may enjoy the game far more.
Now compare our respective experiences while driving out near Boston. This is me:
And the Boston driver:
Boston area drivers are all about living the Buddhist life. "Be here now" and all that. They don't look ahead because the future doesn't concern them; they're more enlightened, living in the moment. They know that material possessions and even life itself are fleeting, so why go out of their way to protect them? Or, to switch gears (pardon me) and paraphrase the Tao Te Ching, they are driving by not driving. I can only surmise that they are supremely happy this way, and that each commute to and from work is, for them, an exercise in ecstacy.
For someone who considers himself enlightened, I have an awful lot to learn about inner peace. But I'm willing to try: To let go of my attachments to such ephemeral things as personal safety, and to enjoy the bliss of freedom from cares, worries and occasionally traction.
Watch out, New York. I'm gonna get Zen on your ass.
...
This is a typical example of how I might change lanes on I-95 near Boston.
Notice, despite a conspicuous lack of warning signs, that my lane will end shortly. Quickly wish a pox on the Massachusetts Department of Transportation. Assess the location, velocity and acceleration of each of the nearest seven cars in the next lane, then calculate which gap between cars will be most open by the time I can get to it. Use Newton's method if necessary. Get to the spot in front of that one as fast as I can, flashing the turn signal on for just a moment.
The Eastern Massachusetts Driver's Manual clearly states that using a turn signal means, "Please pull up next to me, riding the ass of the driver in front of you if necessary." The driver to my left, being an assiduous student of road etiquette, obliges courteously and instantly.
Shut off the turn signal. Throw the gearshift into neutral, hit the brake and rev the engine. I am now falling back toward the space I really want, and thanks to my unwitting accomplice zooming ahead, that space is big enough to safely enter. The Masshole behind them has yet to notice, and I dare not clue them in, because allowing a car to safely enter a lane in front of them is a three point moving violation that they are just not willing to risk. So, fake them out by dropping back too quickly, then pop the clutch into third gear while redlining the engine, thus jerking the car into a velocity matching theirs, with no warning whatsoever. Engage the turn signal and encroach upon the dotted line with a speed precisely calculated to give them time to back off, but not enough time to think they have a chance to cut me off. Give them 0.7 seconds out of courtesy, then quickly and decisively move in (which is also a courtesy, because a longer delay would make them regret a missed opportunity to cut me off).
At some point in the span of time that it takes to accomplish this, succinctly and eloquently sum up my opinion of the road, the drivers and the questionable necessity of the circumstances that have led to my interaction with both, in a four letter monosyllable.
In contrast, this is how an eastern Massachusetts driver might handle the same circumstance:
Notice that the lane just ended. Swerve left without looking.
This is not nearly as dangerous as it sounds, because eastern Massachusetts drivers expect each other to do this. The person to their left, if any, will merely swerve left to avoid them. The person to the left of that one, if any, will do the same, and so on. The chance that this results in a car in the left lane swerving into a guardrail is... Well, it's Somebody Else's Problem.
In fact, any lane change, emergency or not, will be executed this way. One could accurately claim, if one didn't mind giving offense, that the Boston area driving paradigm involves no concern for whether one endangers or hits other cars; it is only concerned with not getting hit by other cars. Consideration, planning ahead and even looking ahead are as relevant to Boston driving as classical opera training is to singing Karaoke.
Here's where I should put in a disclaimer, except that I shouldn't. My generalizations cannot apply to everyone. You in particular, my gentle reader and native eastern Massachusetts driver, are in fact the best driver in the world. You know you are, and we all know it too, which is why it does not need mentioning. Similarly to disclaim, two of my New York friends drive with nearly as little forethought and consideration as typical eastern Massachusetts drivers do. The fact that both of them have clinically diagnosed attention deficits does not merit dwelling upon.
I must now admit the limitation to the paradigm within which I have viewed eastern Massachusetts drivers. Consider a game of chess. One player carefully looks four moves ahead, and is intent on winning. The other considers only their current move, playing mostly by whim. The former player is sure to win. Yet, the latter player may enjoy the game far more.
Now compare our respective experiences while driving out near Boston. This is me:
"Oh, I'm going to need that lane in half a mile. Better look for an opening- OH MY GOD!" [Tires screeching.] "That lunatic almost hit me!" *pant* *pant*
And the Boston driver:
"Hey, that's my exit!" [Swerve across two lanes.] "Nice weather today." [Idly wonder what the stick on the left side of the steering column is for. Glance in the mirror at the burning wreckage behind them.] "Ooh, pretty." [Think about eventually getting the side mirrors replaced.]
Boston area drivers are all about living the Buddhist life. "Be here now" and all that. They don't look ahead because the future doesn't concern them; they're more enlightened, living in the moment. They know that material possessions and even life itself are fleeting, so why go out of their way to protect them? Or, to switch gears (pardon me) and paraphrase the Tao Te Ching, they are driving by not driving. I can only surmise that they are supremely happy this way, and that each commute to and from work is, for them, an exercise in ecstacy.
For someone who considers himself enlightened, I have an awful lot to learn about inner peace. But I'm willing to try: To let go of my attachments to such ephemeral things as personal safety, and to enjoy the bliss of freedom from cares, worries and occasionally traction.
Watch out, New York. I'm gonna get Zen on your ass.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 11:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 02:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 02:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 03:29 pm (UTC)When my father complains about NY drivers being rude, I tell them at least we have a healthy fear of death, unlike Boston driver :P
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 03:31 pm (UTC)And made exponentially more so if the vehicle is a semi, with a slight increase factor if it's carrying logs :P
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-07 03:31 pm (UTC)