Blimix

Half a lifetime ago, I had poor dental hygiene. I also lacked insurance, and wouldn't go to the dentist unless I had dental pain. I would occasionally try to get into the habit of brushing and flossing nightly, which would last for a week or so, but each time, the first night I skipped (sometimes with good reason) would make it much easier to skip subsequent nights. Then I'd have to start from scratch the next time.

I inherited a small (but significant to a poor young adult) amount from a grandparent, and used it to get the dental work I needed. (By that time, I had a broken tooth which didn't hurt, but which I couldn't ignore.) This became a wake-up call, due to all the time, money (most of the inheritance), and discomfort this cost me. I knew that I could not afford to put myself in that position again.

I started getting regular dental exams, and filling cavities before they became bigger problems, paying out of pocket. (A visit every six months didn't cost that much.) More importantly, I was determined to brush and floss regularly. Armed with knowledge of previous failures, any time I was tempted to skip hygiene, I would think, "Yeah, and then I'll skip it tomorrow too, I'll get out of the habit, and in a few years, I'll need a ton of dental work again." Then I would grudgingly go brush my teeth.

After two years of this, I had a night when I was crushingly exhausted. I made a conscious decision to skip brushing and just collapse into bed: I gave myself permission to do it just this once. Thirty seconds later, without having made any other decisions, I found myself standing at the sink, brushing my teeth.

Now that's what I call a habit.

Now I have my Jeet Kune Do class, which I love. For the first several years, I was the one who showed up to every single class. In the past year, various commitments and responsibilities have eroded that. Then I was sick for most of February (it was like a nasty cold that lasted all month), still had no energy in March, and was badly out of shape after that. Once I could, I resumed hiking a lot, to rebuild my endurance so that I could deal with the workouts in class. Various circumstances continued costing me sleep and energy (not all of which are to be complained about; we recently had three days on Long Island for a wedding, for example), and the best days for hiking often coincided with class days, so I missed a lot of class. (But on the up side, I finished hiking every part of every marked trail at Grafton Lakes State Park, which has way more trails than I had realized! I found many (endangered) Karner blue butterflies there, too.)

This week, I've had two days when my energy was balanced on the border of what I felt I needed to attend class. It could have gone either way. So the old pattern recognition kicked in: "I've missed way too much class lately. If I choose not to go when I can, it will endanger my good habit. So go." I went, had a great time, and knocked some rust off my skills. I think I'm going to be sore for two weeks from something I did to my pectoral muscle on Friday, but I'm still glad I went. JKD is important to me, and while I occasionally choose to miss it for other opportunities, responsibilities, or recovery, I never do so lightly.

Last night, I had my level 6 test in Jeet Kune Do; two other people tested for level 2. As usual, it started with an utterly exhausting workout, so that everything we did would reflect how we had trained. (There's no stopping to remember moves in a fight.) Late in the evening, my sifu was running me through some "combat freestyles": He played an attacker, coming at me in a variety of ways, and it was my job to disable my attacker. ("Disable" is a euphemism for "leave on the ground screaming or unconscious". Though of course we try hard to not actually hurt our training partners.)

For his fifth attack, my sifu strode quickly toward me, pushing his finger toward my face, bellowing, "You better leave! Get out of here, now! Get out!" There I was, exhausted, performing a drill whose sole object was to disable one's opponent, and keenly aware that I could trivially take his finger, bend it back, and force him to the ground. Instead, without any hesitation, I threw my hands up in a placating gesture, backed away as quickly as he came at me, and said, "Okay, okay! I'm out of here! I'm gone!"

He stopped, put his hands down, gave me this beaming, pleased-as-punch smile, and said, "Good!"

Today, I hurt all over. But at least I'm a level 6 who hurts all over.