The Dreamer by Dulcie Deamer
Feb. 7th, 2026 08:48 amReach upward and relapse, like down-dropped hands;
The baffled tides slip backward evermore,
And a long sighing murmurs round the sands . . .
My heart is as the wave that lifts and falls:
Tall is the cliff—oh! tall as that dim star
That crowns its summit hidden in a cloud—
Tall as the dark and holy heavens are.
The sad strange wreckage of full many ships
Burdens the bitter waters’ ebb and flow:
Gold diadems, like slowly falling flames,
Lighten the restless emerald gulfs below;
And withered blossoms float, and silken webs,
And pallid faces framed in wide-spread hair,
And bubble-globes that seethe with peacock hues,
And jewelled hands, half-open, cold and fair.
Sea creatures move beneath: their swift sleek touch
Begets sweet madness and unworthy fire—
Scaled women—triton-things, whose dark seal eyes
Are hot and bloodshot with a man’s desire.
Their strange arms clasp: the sea-pulse in their veins
Beats like the surf of the immortal sea—
Strong, glad and soulless: elemental joys
Bathe with green flame the sinking soul of me.
Downward and down—to passionate purple looms,
Athrill with thought-free, blurred, insatiate life,
Where the slow-throbbing sea-flow sways like weed
Dim figures blended in an amorous strife—
I am enclasped, I sink; but the wave lifts,
With all its freight of treasure and of death,
In sullen foamless yearning towards the height
Where the star burns above the vapour-wreath;
And a deep sob goes up, and all the caves
Are filled with mourning and a sorrow-sound.
The green fire fades: I rise: I see the star—
Gone are the triton arms that clipped me round.
Hope beats like some lost bird against the cliff—
The granite cliff above the burdened wave,
Whose fleeting riches are more desolate
Than gems dust-mingled in a nameless grave . . .
When all the wordless thirsts of Time are slaked,
And all Earth’s yearning hungers sweetly fed,
And the Sea’s grief is stilled, and the Wind’s cry,
And Day and Night clasp on one glowing bed—
Oh! in that hour shall clay and flame be blent—
Love find its perfect lover, breast on breast—
When dream and dreamer at the last are one,
And joy is folded in the arms of jest.
Watched A Man on the Inside with Jenn
Feb. 5th, 2026 10:14 am( Teensy spoiler for second season )
( Read more... )
The Real Winner of TrumpRx
Feb. 6th, 2026 05:34 pmNothing about TrumpRx is subtle. When you open up the government’s new online drugstore, the first thing you see is a banner with giant text: “Find the world’s lowest prices on prescription drugs.” Launched last night, TrumpRx allows Americans to purchase certain medications at steep discounts—either by buying them directly from the drug company or by showing a coupon at the pharmacy. “Thanks to President Trump, the days of Big Pharma price-gouging are over,” the website says.
TrumpRx does make a compelling case that the president has mounted an extraordinary effort to stop pharmaceutical companies from ripping off Americans. The website offers discounts on some 40 drugs—the result of months of negotiations between drugmakers and the Trump administration. In a press conference announcing TrumpRx yesterday, Trump boasted that “16 of the 17 largest pharmaceutical companies have signed agreements” to list their drugs on the website. “And the other one is coming,” he added. The Trump administration was able to negotiate a nearly 85 percent discount on a trio of drugs typically used as part of IVF. Americans can also buy Wegovy, the wildly popular weight-loss injection, for as little as $199 a month, a fraction of the original list price.
But these are the exceptions. Most Americans looking for their prescription drugs won’t find that many deals on the site. Health care is complicated already, and TrumpRx apparently does not always offer the cheapest or best option. Those with insurance—some 85 percent of Americans—typically will get a better deal using the coverage they already have than they would paying out of pocket on TrumpRx. More than three-quarters of Americans with commercial insurance are eligible to pay $20 or less for a month’s supply of Xeljanz, a rheumatoid-arthritis drug. But customers paying cash via TrumpRx will still shell out more than $1,500.
[Read: Trump’s Ozempic deal has a major flaw]
Even people without insurance may be able to find better prices in some cases. Consider Protonix, a drug from Pfizer used to treat acid reflux. TrumpRx offers the drug for just over $200—a 55 percent discount from its typical $447. But what the website does not explain is that there’s a much cheaper, generic version of Protonix on the market (but not available through TrumpRx). According to GoodRx, a drug-discount website similar to TrumpRx, the generic version can be purchased for less than $10. The same is true for Pristiq, an antidepressant. Consumers can buy the drug for $200 on TrumpRx or get the generic via GoodRx for a tenth of the price. Patients going through financial hardships can also sometimes qualify for charity programs, which subsidize their prescriptions.
The big winners of yesterday’s announcement seem to be not patients, but drug companies. The Trump administration got drugmakers to the negotiating table last year by writing letters to the companies threatening to “deploy every tool in our arsenal to protect American families from continued abusive drug pricing practices.” Drugmakers were able to turn the threat into a PR opportunity: When Pfizer cut a deal to participate in the program, the company’s CEO, Albert Bourla, was brought to the West Wing, where Trump called the drug company “one of the greatest in the world.”
Drug companies have also successfully protected their ability to charge whatever they please for some of their biggest moneymakers. Yesterday, Trump claimed that the website includes discounts for “dozens of the most commonly used prescription drugs,” but many of the pharmaceutical industry’s best-selling products—some of which also are among their more expensive offerings—are absent from the website. Take Keytruda, Merck’s cancer drug that was the world’s best seller until it was recently surpassed by the weight-loss and diabetes injection tirzepatide: That drug retails for roughly $12,000 for a three-week course of treatment, and it is missing from TrumpRx. Of the top 10 best-selling prescription drugs in 2024, only one—Ozempic—is listed on TrumpRx.
TrumpRx may become better with age. A White House press release from December named multiple additional drugs that are supposed to be included in TrumpRx but are not. The drugmaker Gilead Sciences, the White House touted in the press release, will sell one of its hepatitis-C medications for about $2,400 rather than its original asking price of nearly $25,000. Kush Desai, a White House spokesperson, told me in an email that only five companies’ drugs have been added to the TrumpRx website so far. In its negotiations, the administration has also secured commitments from drugmakers that when they launch new drugs, they will not charge Americans more than they charge individuals in similar nations, which has the potential to dramatically lower the prices Americans pay for new medicines. (It’s still unclear, however, if all of those new drugs will also be available on TrumpRx.)
For Americans who find discounts on TrumpRx, the platform is likely to make a meaningful difference in their lives. It’s addressing, in its so-far-limited ways, a persistent problem in American life. That said, Trump has claimed before to have provided Americans with real relief at the pharmacy counter. During his first term, the president said that seniors would soon receive $200 discount cards in the mail that they could bring to the pharmacy to help defray the high costs of their drugs. The cards never showed up. This time, the downloadable coupons, at least, are real. They are branded with a golden eagle holding a TrumpRx ribbon in its talons.
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star...
Feb. 6th, 2026 10:48 pmTwo Set Violin are enormously talented performers; they put the fun into classical music, they take the time to explain things, and they’re always having a lot of fun playing.
And the best thing: I have a ticket for Sunday, March 15! I missed snagging a ticket when the first batch was released because I wanted to check availability and blam! sold out.
This time I logged on as soon as I got the e-mail and while the best seats have already gone (not that I can afford them), there was still a pretty good choice.
I, err, may be a bit of a fan.
(Yes, I have a lot of half-drafted posts that I mean to finish, a lot of other things on my plate, and never enough time; I read some of my flist but not all, and I am trying to tame a lot of things that got left undone for years.)
solar: day 2
Feb. 5th, 2026 11:25 pmLast year we replaced our roof, which unlocked solar panels. (We didn't want to put in panels and then have to lift them to replace the roof. And it turned out that the provider wouldn't have put panels on a roof that old anyway.) Permits and supply chains and inspections and the actual work took a while, but everything was installed and paid for before the tax year ended. It took until last week to get through the utility company's inspection so we could turn it on, and we finally got our "permission to operate" confirmation yesterday morning.
I didn't expect much in the middle of winter, especially on a cloudy day like today, but yesterday when it was sunny we returned more power to the grid than we drew, and today we're doing ok now but it looks like we'll be pulling from the grid overnight. (The battery is getting close to its "do not drop below" point, that being a buffer in case of actual outages.) I have never been so involved in power usage...
The battery has been on since it was installed; we didn't have a power outage during that time, but I assume it would have kicked in if so. 'Tis the season, so I was taken by surprise the first time I got a notification on my phone from my battery saying "National Weather Service says there's a storm coming so I'm charging up to 100%", because of course it does that. This is a whole new world for me. :-)
Most humorous (potential) Olympic doping scandal ever!
Feb. 5th, 2026 09:10 pmHi everyone! Still here, still super busy, but I saw an item in the news today that I had to jump on and share with you: The most humorous (potential) Olympic doping scandal ever!
The event: Ski jumping.
The rule: In order to prevent ski jumpers from going full flying squirrel with their suits, they undergo a 3D body scan, which determines the dimensions (and hence the surface area) of their suit.
The allegation: It has been alleged that some ski jumpers are having their penises injected with hyaluronic acid to make them bigger and thus net them extra cloth in the crotch of their suits. It's not a lot, but given the tight margins of victory in some Olympic competitions, it could make a difference.
The ruling: WADA (the World Anti-Doping Agency) has said they have no definitive evidence that this has ever been done, and in fact they aren't even sure that this would fall under the definition of doping, but they do say they'll be looking into it.
Meanwhile, I'll be over here laughing.
To read pile, 2026, January
Feb. 5th, 2026 02:59 pmBooks on pre-order:
- Platform Decay (Murderbot 8) by Martha Wells (5 May)
- Radiant Star (Imperial Radch) by Ann Leckie (12 May)
- Unrivaled (Game Changers 7) by Rachel Reid (29 Sep)
Books acquired in January:
- and read:
- The Shots You Take by Rachel Reid
- and previously read:
- Time to Shine by Rachel Reid
Books acquired previously and read in January:
- Claiming the Tower (Council Mysteries 1) by Celia Lake [Dec 2025]
- Alchemical Reactions by Celia Lake [Dec 2025]
Borrowed books read in January:
- The Serpent's Shadow (Kane Chronicles 3) by Rick Riordan [3]
- Demigods & Magicians by Rick Riordan [3]
- The Sword of Summer (Magnus Chase 1) by Rick Riordan [3]
- The Hammer of Thor (Magnus Chase 2) by Rick Riordan [3]
- The Ship of the Dead (Magnus Chase 3) by Rick Riordan [3]
- 9 from the Nine Worlds by Rick Riordan [3]
- The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
[1] Pre-order
[2] Audiobook
[3] Physical book
[4] Crowdfunding
[5] Goodbye read
[6] Cambridgeshire Reads/Listens
[7] FaRoFeb / FaRoCation / Bookmas / HRBC
[8] Prime Reading / Kindle Unlimited
The Only Thing That Will Turn Measles Back
Feb. 5th, 2026 08:00 amSince measles vaccination became common among Americans, the logic of outbreaks has been simple: When vaccination rates fall, infections rapidly rise; when vaccination rates increase, cases abate. The United States is currently living out the first half of that maxim.
Measles-vaccination rates have been steadily declining for several years; since last January, the country has logged its two largest measles epidemics in more than three decades. The second of those, still ballooning in South Carolina, is over 875 cases and counting. In April, measles may be declared endemic in the U.S. again, 26 years after elimination.
When and if the maxim’s second part—a rebound in vaccination—might manifest “is the key question,” Paul Offit, a pediatrician and vaccine expert at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, told me. Experts anticipate a shift eventually. Vaccine coverage has often been beholden to a kind of homeostatic pull, in which it dips and then ricochets in response to death and suffering. In 2022, for instance, in the weeks after polio paralyzed an unvaccinated man in Rockland County, New York, the families of more than 1,000 under-vaccinated children heeded advice to immunize.
During past outbreaks, though, health authorities at local, state, and federal levels have given that same advice—vaccinate, now—loudly, clearly, and persistently. In 2026, the U.S. is facing the possibility of more and bigger measles outbreaks, as federal leaders have actively shrunk vaccine access, dismissed vaccine experts, and sowed doubts about vaccine benefits. Under these conditions, many experts are doubtful that facing down more disease, even its worst consequences, will convince enough Americans that more protection is necessary.
After the first major rash of measles cases appeared in and around West Texas about this time last year, many local families did rush to get vaccines, including early doses for infants; some families living near South Carolina’s outbreak, now bigger than West Texas’s was, have opted into free vaccination clinics too. Even in states far from these epidemics, such as Wisconsin, health-care providers have seen an uptick in vaccination, Jonathan Temte, a family-medicine physician and vaccine-policy expert at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, told me. But, he said, those boosts in interest have been concentrated primarily among people already enthusiastic about vaccination, who were seeking additional protection as the national situation worsened. At the same time, many of South Carolina’s free vaccination clinics have been poorly attended; some community members hit by the worst of the outbreak in West Texas have stood by their decision to not vaccinate.
Protection against measles has always been fragile: Sky-high levels of vaccination—at rates of at least 92 to 95 percent—are necessary to stave off outbreaks. And after holding steady for years, uptake of the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine has been dropping unevenly in communities scattered across the U.S. since around the start of the coronavirus pandemic, pulling down the nationwide average. Recent research from a team led by Eric Geng Zhou, a health economist at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, has found that, although many communities in the Northeast and Midwest have generally high MMR-vaccine uptake, others in regions such as West Texas, southern New Mexico, and the rural Southeast, as well as parts of Mississippi, don’t have much protection to speak of.
COVID can bear some of the blame for these patches of slipping vaccination. It disrupted families’ routine of visits to the pediatrician, leading to delayed or missed vaccinations. Those interruptions quickly resolved for some families, Zhou told me, but they remained for many others, lagging, for instance, among people of lower socioeconomic status who are less likely to have consistent access to health care and reliable health information. At the same time, the pandemic deepened political divides over public-health policies, including vaccination. In the years since, Republicans have become substantially more hesitant than Democrats about immunizing their children. “The COVID pandemic created this persistent divergence,” Zhou told me.
Pockets with under-vaccinated people have always existed, tracking alongside groups that are less likely to engage with all kinds of medical care, including people with less education or lower income, or those who belong to certain ethnic minorities. Anti-vaccine activists—including Robert F. Kennedy Jr., now the secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services—have also spent years spreading misinformation about the vaccine. But maybe most crucial, vaccination status clusters in communities—depending intimately on whether, for instance, children are raised by parents who are themselves vaccinated. The net effect of COVID, misinformation, and changing political tides is that the chasms between the vaccinated and unvaccinated have widened, an especially dangerous proposition for measles, a virus that is estimated to infect 90 percent of the unimmunized people it encounters.
Last year, as measles ignited in West Texas, some experts wondered whether attitudes about the MMR vaccine might shift once the virus killed someone. Since the start of 2025, three unvaccinated people have died from measles, two of them young children. But because that outbreak centered on several rural Mennonite communities that have long been distrustful of vaccines, many Americans seem to have treated those three deaths as a mostly isolated problem, Noel Brewer, a vaccine-behavior expert at the University of North Carolina Gillings School of Global Public Health, told me. (Brewer was a member of the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices before Kennedy overhauled the group entirely last year.)
More broadly, the disease still has a misleading reputation as harmless enough that “it’s not a big deal if you get it,” Rupali Limaye, a vaccine-behavior expert at Johns Hopkins University, told me. But even if measles’ severe outcomes were more common, Limaye and others were doubtful that many more Americans would be moved to act. COVID vaccines still offer protection against the disease’s worst outcomes, yet so far this winter, just 17 percent of adults and 8 percent of children have gotten a COVID shot. And although the seasonal flu typically hospitalizes hundreds of thousands of people in the U.S. each year, tens of thousands of whom die, flu-vaccine uptake regularly hovers below 50 percent. For measles, “how many deaths is enough to be a tipping point?” Offit asked. “I don’t know that.”
If anything, the nation’s top health officials have encouraged people to embrace the tolls of infectious illness. The Trump administration responded to the deaths last year with relatively tepid messages about the benefits of measles vaccines—which are excellent at preventing severe illness, infection, and transmission—all while promoting nutritional supplementation with vitamin A. More recently, CDC’s new principal deputy director, Ralph Abraham, described the prospect of measles becoming endemic in the U.S. as “just the cost of doing business.” Last month, CDC ended long-standing recommendations urging all Americans to receive an annual flu shot; later that week, Kennedy told CBS News that it may be a “better thing” if fewer kids get vaccinated against the flu. And Kirk Milhoan, the new chair of CDC’s vaccine advisory committee, recently questioned the need for the MMR vaccine, arguing that measles’ risks may now be lower than they once were, in part because hospitals are better equipped to treat the disease than they used to be.
When reached for comment over email, Andrew G. Nixon, the deputy assistant secretary for media relations at HHS, disputed the notion that the department has hindered the country’s response to measles, writing, “Under Secretary Kennedy, CDC surged resources and multiple states declared measles outbreaks over in 2025.” He added that “Secretary Kennedy and other leaders at HHS have consistently said that vaccination is the best way to prevent the spread of measles.”
The counsel of health-care providers, not federal health officials, remains a top predictor of whether people will immunize. But when vaccine uptake has wavered in the past, governments have been key to buoying those levels again. In the 1970s, for example, after safety concerns about a whooping-cough vaccine—later proved false—caused rates of uptake to plummet in the United Kingdom and spurred a series of major outbreaks, an eventual government-sponsored campaign helped limit the dip in vaccination to a few years. In the 2010s, rising rates of families seeking nonmedical exemptions for vaccination in California helped precipitate the state’s Disneyland measles outbreak, which spread to six other states, as well as Canada and Mexico; MMR-vaccination rates throughout California jumped above 95 percent only after new state legislation strengthened school mandates. And in the early 1990s, local health officials ended a Philadelphia measles epidemic—which by then had sickened at least 1,400 people and killed nine children—after they took the extreme step of getting a court order to compel community members to vaccinate children.
When governments withdraw support for vaccines, immunization rates can crater. In 2013, an unfounded safety concern about the HPV vaccine prompted Japanese health authorities to suspend strong national recommendations for the immunization; the move caused uptake among adolescent and young teenage girls to drop, from about 70 to 80 percent to less than 1 percent within a year, according to Brewer, who is co-authoring a research paper on the subject. Japan did not reinstate its HPV recommendation until nearly a decade later—and coverage has since recovered to only about half of its original baseline.
Nixon, the HHS spokesperson, wrote that the U.S. is now following the approach of peer nations that “achieve high vaccination rates without mandates by relying on trust, education, and strong doctor-patient relationships.” But Kennedy has also publicly discouraged people from “trusting the experts.” Limaye, who consults with local health-care providers, said that the biggest question that her contacts are now hearing from patient families is “Who am I supposed to believe?” Meanwhile, CDC’s website now contradicts the widespread and decades-long scientific consensus that vaccines don’t cause autism.
If MMR-vaccine uptake does rebound, experts suspect it will rise unevenly across the country, likely skirting the politically red regions where vaccination rates most urgently need to increase. In this way, the self-reinforcing nature of vaccination status is dangerous: Even while highly protected groups might double down on immunization, under-vaccinated groups can remain unprotected. Leaving enough places lingering below the crucial measles-vaccination threshold “will ensure repeated and large outbreaks,” Brewer said. West Texas and South Carolina were just the start; this year, measles will sicken more people, which means more deaths will follow, and likely soon. The Trump administration is testing how much resilience American vaccination rates have in the absence of federal support, and the answer emerging for measles so far is: not enough.
Olympics!
Feb. 5th, 2026 10:33 amThe opening ceremony isn't until tomorrow evening, but women's ice hockey starts in about half an hour with Sweden facing Germany. Regrettably I have to do my day job, but I do have two monitors in the office ...
another reading list
Feb. 4th, 2026 03:08 pmI have read: ( 22 books )
I own a copy but have not yet read: ( 11 books )
I started but did not finish: ( 3 books )
I have not read: ( 38 books )
I feel pretty good about this representation, especially since I've read (and mostly enjoyed) the most recent winners for twelve years running, up to last year's which I just haven't gotten around to yet. Also because for the ones I have not read, about half of them are by authors who have written other stories that I did read. But some of them I know I will never bother with, and that's okay.
Shadow Boxing Day: Keeping mellow with melomel
Feb. 3rd, 2026 11:56 pmWe spent July 4th of last year bottling four carboys that had been sitting on the counter for years; the newest from 2021 and the oldest from 2018. Part of the problem was that home brewing is mostly "clean your kitchen" and then a little bit of "mix stuff in a pot." I would occasionally clean the kitchen on a Saturday, be too tired to brew on Sunday, and by the time there was another clear weekend the kitchen would be dirty again. Now that I've got counter space back and I can summon the energy to clean on something other than a free weekend, the zymurgy hobby is back on the table (so to speak).
Kelly and I made a honeymoon mead starting in late 2015. We were inspired by a mead shared at Dragonfest that year made from Brazilian wildflower honey, so we ordered a 60 pound bucket of the stuff. That's enough for three or four 5-gallon batches, and I've used it a few times since. But the results were coming out with a fairly harsh off-flavor, likely a result of fermenting at too high of a temperature: the yeast are stressed out, and you taste the result of them not doing their best work. I also wasn't getting inspired with new ideas for that particular honey, so it sat all lonely in a corner.
Honey is a pretty amazing substance. I can't think of many other foods that can sit half-empty in a closet for a decade and still be worth eating. But honey is anti-microbial, so the only challenge is that a lot of it had crystalized. Fortunately, our house has a nice low-tech way to get honey flowing: I left the bucket on our sun porch for a week, occasionally digging around with a spoon to shift the crystal clumps. The flavor is still nice: not too sweet and with a bit of a mysterious taste to match the dark amber color. I decided it could do well as a pomegranate mead, and found some unfiltered, unsweetened 100% pomegranate juice from Armenia at our local Middle Eastern shop. Having learned the yeast-fermentation-temperature lesson from my initial wine yeast brews, I picked up an English Ale yeast with an ideal temperature range of 64° to 79°F. Room temperature sits in the middle, and now that we've got a heat pump we might be able to keep the kitchen below 80° in the summer. My 2021 cyser with British Ale yeast turned out well, and was able to survive into the 12% alcohol range.
I normally take fairly precise measurements while home brewing, but not today. (Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew.) This melomel has "about 7 pounds" of honey, measured by lifting the honey bucket with an analog luggage scale, then lifting the empty bucket afterwards. I added "about a gallon" of warm water by filling a quart jar four times, then four liters of juice ('cause it's imported), then "about four liters" of water in those juice jars, so I could get the last bits of sediment into the brew. There's also somewhere between an extra 3 quarters to one whole cup of water from mixing the yeast and nutrient, plus rinsing the last of the must from the pot into the carboy. That gives "a little more than three gallons of liquid," plus the volume of honey. This should work perfectly; it's got plenty of surface area for primary fermentation in a 5-gallon glass carboy, and I can then rack it to a 3 gallon carboy for secondary, leaving behind what I expect to be rather a lot of trub: the pomegranate juice was quite cloudy.
The Internet has a bunch of opinions about fermentation vessels, with most commentators discouraging using a carboy for primary fermentation; the narrow neck increases the risk of blow-outs and reduces surface area for the initial aerobic phase. My theory is that "3.5 gallons in a 5 gallon carboy" solves both of those risks, and since I'm not planning to rack to secondary for two months I'd rather it sit in glass than plastic. Plus, I think this one will be fun to watch.
The pre-fermentation taste of the must is more subtle than I expected: a little sweetness at the front, followed by subtle pomegranate flavor—including a hint of the white pith—and then back to honey flavor at the finish. If you didn't know it was pomegranate, it might take a bit to place it. We'll see if this turns into a lovely dry melomel (just 12% potential alcohol), or if that fruit flavor disappears through primary. I got a couple jars of pure pomegranate syrup which I might add in secondary fermentation if necessary; that stuff is tart and tangy on pancakes.
I've got a couple other jugs of honey waiting for a round tuit now that I'm re-building my zymurgy reflexes. I got some wildflower honey from a Rocky Ford farmstand in 2024, and should probably start that fermenting now so we can add some fresh melons to secondary this summer, giving a better shot of retaining the cantaloupe flavor than starting with fruit chunks in the must. I also stopped for a hand-made "LOCAL HONEY" sign along highway 16 in the Arkansas Ozarks in 2022, not too far from Ben Hur and the Pedestal Rocks trailhead. I'm really not sure what to make with that one, so maybe I should start it as a traditional and see what the flavor suggests. I think there are also some Palisade peaches in the freezer waiting for a project…
Minor operations; testing new serving path
Feb. 3rd, 2026 10:25 pmHi all!
I'm doing some minor operational work tonight. It should be transparent, but there's always a chance that something goes wrong. The main thing I'm touching is testing a replacement for Apache2 (our web server software) in one area of the site.
Thank you!
The Logical End Point of ‘America First’ Foreign Aid
Feb. 3rd, 2026 12:52 pmLast summer, the Dalai Lama was having a party in Dharamshala for his 90th birthday, and Bethany Morrison, a newly appointed State Department official, was eager to meet with him there. Inconveniently, the United States had recently canceled about $12 million worth of annual foreign aid benefiting Tibetan-exile communities as part of the implosion of USAID. This, Morrison and other State officials thought, would not make a particularly good impression on His Holiness, according to a former State and a former USAID official.
Prior to the Dalai Lama’s birthday, the two former federal employees told me, they had spent months lobbying for Donald Trump’s administration to restore at least some Asia-based aid projects. They had argued that these projects passed Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s new litmus test for overseas spending: They would make America “safer, stronger, and more prosperous.” Nothing changed. (Like other aid workers I spoke with for this story, the former employees requested anonymity because of fear of professional reprisal.)
But as the party’s date approached, Jeremy Lewin, the new head of U.S. foreign assistance at the State Department, was suddenly persuaded to resurrect aid to Tibetans, and had seemingly little regard for where, exactly, the money would be going, the former employees said. In a June email to other State Department officials, Lewin wrote that he wanted to “give some good news ahead of the trip.” Days before the party, the State Department allocated nearly $7 million to support Tibetan exiles in South Asia. (A State Department spokesperson, who did not give their name, told me in an email that many programs were paused in early 2025 as part of a foreign-assistance review “conducted to ensure that the American taxpayer’s hard-earned dollars were being spent efficiently” but declined to comment on the specific circumstances of Tibetan aid being reinstated ahead of the party.)
For the past half century, the U.S. has pursued, however imperfectly, a straightforward ideal of foreign aid that has been codified in laws passed by Democrats and Republicans alike: Resources should be deployed wherever they are needed most. Under this administration, funding for overseas aid is being evaluated by a different measure—using “dealmaking and transactions as near-exclusive metrics of success,” as the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a centrist think tank, put it in November.
Foreign aid has always, to varying degrees, been a political project, meant to accrue soft power by forwarding America’s vision for itself and winning over people abroad. In the past year, though, some aid agreements have been nakedly transactional (the U.S. helping finance malaria drugs in exchange for access to minerals, for instance); others, such as those that preceded the Dalai Lama’s birthday party, simply highlight how haphazardly programs have been picked for survival. The overall result is that, instead of being directed at where they can save the most lives, U.S. humanitarian efforts now seem to be aimed primarily at where they can advance the Trump administration’s other priorities.
When the Trump administration suddenly ended most foreign-assistance programs early last year, governments around the world had little time to adjust budgets or make contingency plans. This gave the U.S. new and pointed leverage over most other countries, which it seems eager to exploit. On July 1, the day that some remnants of USAID were officially absorbed by the State Department, Rubio wrote on Substack that the administration’s foreign-funding thinking “prioritizes our national interests.” Talking points distributed widely within the State Department around that time, obtained by The Atlantic, clarify that under the new “America First” approach, the department plans to award funding to two main types of aid: programs that are strategic and programs that are lifesaving. The talking points emphasize that both categories are “not global charity” but rather “a tool of strategic engagement.”
The State Department spokesperson did not dispute this characterization. “President Trump’s National Security Strategy is very clear: the United States will partner with select countries to reduce conflict and foster mutually beneficial trade and investment relationships, shifting from a traditional aid-focused approach to one that strategically leverages foreign assistance to support economic growth,” they wrote. They added that the U.S. “remains the most generous nation in the world for lifesaving humanitarian assistance.” Notably, the president proposed slashing foreign aid by 70 percent in fiscal year 2026; Congress quietly rejected the cut.
Some of the foreign aid disbursed in the second half of last year appears to have been straightforwardly treated as a bargaining chip. Another senior State official described the department’s approach to me as “Can we cut a tariff deal with this country? Okay, we’ll increase the aid going to them. Are there critical mineral rights that we would like to discuss?” Foreign aid might lubricate that conversation too. The State Department hasn’t been shy about this strategy: In a September memo to Congress, which I obtained after its existence was first reported in The Washington Post, the department says it intended to use foreign-assistance money to incentivize other nations to “support U.S. immigration priorities” and diversify “critical mineral supply chains.”
Weeks later, Equatorial Guinea, a small country on the west coast of Africa, agreed to accept U.S. deportees who are not its citizens; in return, it received $7.5 million from a government fund meant to assist refugees and victims of conflict. Eswatini and Rwanda have signed similar deals. Last month, the State Department made the release of funds to fight malaria, tuberculosis, and HIV in Zambia contingent on its government agreeing to terms “for collaboration in the mining sector” and other economic reforms. The Zambia health-financing agreement is one of more than 50 that the State Department plans to sign with low- and middle-income countries in the next few months. Earlier this month, Mike Reid, the chief science officer for the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, acknowledged in a post on his personal Substack that the global-health deals put aside “long-standing, epidemiologically sound priorities” and are “transactional”—but he wrote that he ultimately rooted for their success.
Prior to this administration, the U.S. had generally distinguished a country’s government from its people when making aid decisions. The U.S. led the global effort to reduce the humanitarian crisis in Iraq caused by the near-total sanctions that had been levied on the country after President Saddam Hussein ordered the invasion of Kuwait. American taxpayers even fed North Korea during its late-1990s famine. “Showing that the United States stood in solidarity with the world’s most vulnerable people, regardless of what their government did or did not do, was kind of a goal in and of itself, as a projection of American values,” the senior State Department official told me. In some cases, that still appears to hold true: This month, for example, the U.S. announced that it is working with the Catholic Church to deliver food and supplies to Cubans, despite the State Department’s allegations that Cuba’s government sponsors terrorism and concerns about “diversion by the illegitimate regime.”
But neutrality as a rule in aid decisions “no longer exists,” the senior official said. Concerns about diversion and terrorism have been used to justify shutting down all assistance to Afghanistan and Yemen—countries where urgent intervention is needed to prevent deaths from malnutrition, according to the federal government’s famine data. And Rubio justified a muted response to Myanmar’s request for help after a major earthquake last spring in part because “they have a military junta that doesn’t like us.”
Meanwhile, countries that have a history of advancing U.S. security interests have been rewarded: Last month, for instance, as Rubio signed a deal contributing $1.7 billion to Kenya’s health system, he expressed his appreciation for the country leading a United Nations peacekeeping force in Haiti, a country the Trump administration hopes to stabilize to prevent would-be migrants from attempting the 600-mile trip to Florida. In April, funding was restored for a desalination plant in Jordan, a country where water scarcity is severe but relatively few people die for want of water—and that happens to be the U.S.’s main Arab ally, and is known to collaborate closely with the CIA. Jordan has benefited from its allyship before: In 2022, a federal watchdog determined that, by sending more funding for clean water and sanitation to Jordan than any other nation, the U.S. was subverting the spirit of the law. But if the old system was slanted by strategic interests, the new one has keeled over in pursuit of them. Jordan now appears to be the one of the only—if not the only—countries where the U.S. has reinstated a water-infrastructure project, despite having abandoned more than 20 half-finished drinking-water and sanitation systems around the world.
Sometimes, the administration’s vision of aid seems to be not “America First,” but “Trump First.” For example, in March, a Vietnamese official announced that work on a suspended USAID project to clean up toxic chemicals would resume, one day after Vietnam’s prime minister reportedly met with a representative of the Trump Organization. Soon after, Vietnamese officials argued that the organization should be allowed to skip meeting several legal requirements to begin constructing a new golf resort in Vietnam on an expedited timeline that would “capitalize on the support of the Donald Trump administration” and be more convenient for Trump’s son Eric, who planned to attend the ground-breaking in May. (The State Department spokesperson said that the chemical project was “a high priority for this Administration” but did not answer followup questions about the relationship between the project and the Trump Organization representative’s meeting with the Vietnamese prime minister. The Trump Organization did not respond to a request for comment.)
The Trump administration’s approach to foreign aid may gain more resources for the U.S. in the short term, but it also risks sacrificing other goals. The American intelligence community has long known that insurgent groups—many of which openly seek the destruction of the United States—rely on desperation, food insecurity, and hopelessness to gain recruits. USAID’s collapse has greased their efforts. The State Department spokesperson wrote that the department works with partner governments to “strengthen local security capabilities, improve intelligence-sharing, and disrupt terrorist networks before they can exploit instability.” But after U.S.-funded health and counterterrorism programs in Mozambique were cut last year, ISIS surged into the vacuum. When Trump hastily shut down all foreign aid to Afghanistan, the State Department said its “primary humanitarian objective” in the country was to prevent the resources left behind from going to terrorists. Instead, armored vehicles that American taxpayers had bought for humanitarian workers—along with 147 pieces of sensitive security equipment—were seized by the Taliban. (The State Department spokesperson did not directly address the incident. “The Trump Administration will not allow U.S. taxpayer dollars to be used to enable the Taliban’s heinous behavior,” they told me.)
The United States’ new approach to foreign aid brings the nation in line with authoritarian countries that have historically prioritized strategy over charity. Russia’s grain diplomacy functions with the understanding that food today means military bases tomorrow. China subordinates the goal of improving foreign populations’ health outcomes to establishing dependency on its medical tech. The Trump administration may not have wholly forsaken the extraordinary idea that the United States should spend money to save the lives of ordinary people in foreign countries. But it has trampled on the humanitarian pretense for doing so.
The Longevity Influencer Who Went Into ‘Withdrawal’ Without Jeffrey Epstein
Feb. 2nd, 2026 07:17 pmIf you didn’t know who Peter Attia was last week, here’s how you’ll remember him going forward: Attia is the guy who once emailed Jeffrey Epstein to confirm that “pussy is, indeed, low carb. Still awaiting results on gluten content, though.”
Until recently, Attia was known as a wellness influencer in the manosphere and a newly appointed contributor at CBS as part of the “Free Press to network TV” pipeline. He has a popular podcast and wrote the best-selling book Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity. But Attia is also all over the Epstein files—his name pops up more than 1,700 times in the Justice Department’s latest batch of documents. From 2015 to 2018, Epstein and Attia exchanged numerous emails. Many of them are mundane: Epstein writes to Attia about “a very strange vein like red pattern” on his stomach; he asks Attia what kind of probiotic he should use; there is talk of MRI scans of Epstein’s spine. But others are vile. In a June 2015 back-and-forth about cancer and longevity, Epstein muses that he’s not sure why “women live past reproductive age at all.” (CBS did not respond to a request for comment; the network is reportedly expected to drop Attia after last week’s revelation.)
Attia, a onetime researcher who earned an M.D. but never completed his surgical residency, is beloved by his fans for his measured, scientific approach to living one’s best life. On a recent podcast, he spends two hours examining Alzheimer’s disease in women. Other episodes delve into timely topics such as protein intake, fertility, chronic pain, and nicotine; his October discussion about the safety of Tylenol use during pregnancy offers an evidence-based counterpoint to the alarmist White House press conference on that issue. But he’s also been knocked for overhyping treatments with limited data behind them and for exploiting his eager fans (a course he offered on longevity cost $2,500, according to a 2023 Wall Street Journal article). Eric Topol, a high-profile cardiologist who directs the Scripps Research Translational Institute, called Attia a “huckster” earlier today.
In the mid-2010s, about the time he befriended Epstein, Attia seemed focused on building a roster of clients whom he could advise on longevity and wellness. An exercise physiologist who once worked with Attia told me that Attia sent him to do a physical evaluation of Epstein at the late financier’s cavernous Manhattan residence in July 2017. He remembers two young, attractive women who flowed in and out during the session with Epstein, though Epstein didn’t acknowledge them. “Something felt a little off,” he told me. A proposed follow-up session never took place. (The physiologist spoke on the condition of anonymity because he didn’t want to be associated with the scandal; he told me he hasn’t spoken with Attia in years.)
Attia’s emails with Epstein reveal no such qualms. In an email in which Attia seems to be pitching Epstein a longevity program, he asks Epstein if “you’re interested in living longer (solely for the ladies, of course)?” In July 2016, Attia asked Epstein what he was doing in Palm Beach, where Epstein allegedly abused numerous underage girls. “Guess,” Epstein writes. Attia replies: “Besides that.” In 2017, Attia appears to have spent time with Epstein in New York—rebuffing his wife’s pleas for him to return home to California—while his infant son was having a medical emergency. In the emails, Attia is not just Epstein’s medical adviser but a friend and ardent admirer. In 2016, Attia wrote to Epstein’s assistant that he goes “into JE withdrawal when I don’t see him.”
When Attia and Epstein met in 2014, the full extent of the latter’s crimes weren’t yet publicly known, but his misdeeds weren’t a secret. Epstein first pleaded guilty to a child-sex offense in 2008, and by 2010, he had settled several lawsuits over allegations of sexual misconduct. A representative for Attia pointed me to a long semi–mea culpa that Attia posted on his X account this morning. He writes that he “never saw anyone who appeared underage” in Epstein’s presence, and that he had “nothing to do with his sexual abuse or exploitation of anyone.” Attia also says that when he learned about the extent of Epstein’s crimes from a November 2018 Miami Herald article, he confronted Epstein and told him that he needed to accept responsibility and pay for support for those he had harmed. (In December 2018, Attia wrote to Epstein that he “would like to discuss some stuff with you in person.”) And, in his X post, Attia calls the emails between him and Epstein “embarrassing, tasteless, and indefensible.”
In his lengthy explanation of his behavior, Attia writes that he was fascinated by Epstein’s wealth and access to influential people. Epstein had contact with plenty of household names, such as Bill Gates and Elon Musk. Attia’s emails refer to “Ehud”—likely Ehud Barak, the former Israeli prime minister who was known to have a relationship with Epstein but has previously denied any wrongdoing or knowledge of Epstein’s crimes. In an August 2015 email, Epstein tells Attia that he’s having dinner that night with “musk thiel zuckerburg [sic].” (In 2019, a spokesperson for the Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg said he had met Epstein “in passing one time at a dinner honoring scientists that was not organized by Epstein.” In 2021, Gates told PBS that his meetings with Epstein were a mistake. A spokesperson for Peter Thiel said on Saturday that Thiel never visited Epstein’s island, and Musk wrote on X that “no one pushed harder than me to have the Epstein files released and I’m glad that has finally happened.”)
Attia is more representative of another category of Epstein associate: researchers who thought Epstein could either fund their work or help push their careers to the next level. In his X post, Attia writes that he was introduced to Epstein when he was raising money for scientific research. Epstein was known to have donated millions to a research center run by Martin Nowak, a professor of mathematics and biology at Harvard. (In 2021, the university temporarily sanctioned Nowak for violating rules about professionalism and campus access in connection with his involvement with Epstein, but he remains a professor there. He said at the time that he regretted “the connection I was part of fostering between Harvard and Jeffrey Epstein.”) Lawrence Krauss, a theoretical physicist and cosmologist, received $250,000 from Epstein’s foundation for his science-communication group. At one point, Epstein introduced Attia to Krauss over email because Krauss was hoping to start a podcast and wanted tips. (Last year, Krauss said that none of his communications with Epstein was criminal, and that he “was as shocked as the rest of the world when he was arrested.”)
Attia, in other words, was seemingly not alone in being wowed by Epstein’s wealth and well-known friends. A particular challenge for Attia, though, is that wellness influencers offer their followers more than diet-and-exercise tips. They’re selling wisdom. Follow my advice, they contend, and you’ll live a longer, healthier, more fulfilled life. But a chummy, yearslong association with a convicted child predator is, at the very least, unwise.
I FORGOT TO MENTION
Feb. 2nd, 2026 09:43 pmBeating the final boss of Dark Souls puts you straight into New Game Plus, so you need to do the DLC first, but yeah. I have in fact completed the base game up until you enter the last area. And there is a general consensus that the final boss is not the hardest in the game.
The DLC bosses are all substantially harder than the base game ones, and I have two more left, so it remains to be seen whether I can beat them, but at this point the odds look decent that I will at least be able to finish the base game.
I would like to remind you all that my initial goal was to see if I could beat the tutorial.
If they call me a domestic terrorist, by Michael Robey
Feb. 2nd, 2026 02:12 pmETA: Since the original link didn't work, I am linking to my FB page.
Some number of things makes a post
Feb. 2nd, 2026 08:25 amThe one thing cold weather is good for is chopping down one's unread book stash.
( Reading )
( Icons )
( Flight Rising )
Hello!
Feb. 2nd, 2026 07:57 amI am enjoying myself so far! We shall see how far this journey takes me!
So, if you're even tangentially interested in blogs or people who spend a lot of time
Feb. 4th, 2026 10:18 pmPeople in the middle ages did understand that some water was safe to drink and some wasn't, and they went through considerable lengths to bring clean, potable water to their towns. Not that most of them lived in towns, but in this case, living further from town is a bonus. Less people = less poop.
(Also, while there are other waterborne illnesses, cholera in particular didn't leave India until the 1800s, well into the modern period. I'm not sure it even existed prior to 1817. Please stop telling me earnestly about Snow and cholera in London. Totally different time period, totally different situation, totally irrelevant.)
Anyway, this just popped up on my feed yet again today, and it suddenly sparked a question in my head:
If people supposedly didn't drink water because they didn't want to get sick, what did their animals drink? Surely nobody thinks that medieval peasants were giving their cows and pigs ale? Or do they think that non-human animals are so hardy that they aren't at risk of waterborne illness? Or maybe that people just didn't care if their animals died, like every sheep isn't wealth, or at least a source of food and wool?
(I'm willing to bet that nobody has an answer to this question, but that if I ever ask them, should it come up in the wild, they'll be annoyed at me!)