Blimix

I love everything about this "Lucifer" fanfic. It fixes a ton of things that the show messed up. Most importantly, god is the abusive prick he started out as: That needed to be dealt with, not to be dismissed and forgotten after he just comes to Earth and acts nice. Parental abuse is a big theme in this fic, as it should be, and (fair warning) it's depicted realistically, even in a divine context. The other folks are given realistic, deep, and consistent characterization, while leaving them room to learn and grow as the fic progresses. Some are startlingly not who you thought they were. (They're better.) And there's lore! Lore that fits with both the show and the existence of Christianity. On the way, you'll learn about therapy, trauma, religious history, California life, and more.

I laughed sometimes. I smiled a lot. I got deeply absorbed, and concerned for the characters and their situations.

The author treated the show with love, and left it better than they found it.

You'll need an AO3 account to read this; it's a safety precaution against AI scrapers. If you don't have an account, you click a button to request one; it takes ten days or so.

I had some thoughts on "Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves". ( Spoilers behind the cut. )

A friend once noted, upon rewatching the film as an adult, that Ferris Bueller's behavior left something to be desired. I too recalled that he had no business pressuring Cameron into using his dad's car, or getting huffy about being called out for trying to steal a restaurant reservation. Kind of an entitled prick. But Karen just put on the film again yesterday, and holy cow, Ferris was so much worse than that. He was consistently downright abusive to Cameron. He only once apologized, just enough, after he had gone too far, and then gently put the blame back on Cameron as soon as Cameron had been mollified. A classic abuser! He also disrespected Sloane's bodily autonomy.

It all works out for him because he's Ferris Bueller. Sloane is in love. ("When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.") Even his gaslighting Cameron about feeling ill (My irony meter just broke!) turns out to have been... Correct? Because it's his movie? I feel like my chronically ill friends would get triggered by watching that. They've suffered way too much dismissal. It hurts and demoralizes.

Ferris is right about school, of course. It's all about attendance, compliance, subservience, and bullshit rules. That's a big part of why the film resonates with us. And this may be part of the problem: This theme is an example of a long standing trope in which media presents a willingness to transgress as a mark of extreme cool, without making any distinction between transgression against rules and transgression against people.

This idea draws in those people who lack a moral compass. They too think that they can show off how cool they are by behaving in insensitive and harmful ways toward others. "Look at me, and how much I don't give a fuck! Suck it, society!" Of course it doesn't work like that. In real life, being a douchebag to people engenders fear and resentment, not respect, and it'll cost you those friends who are most worth having as friends.

You know who are cool? People who transgress against harmful rules! People who violate a sexist dress code. People who hide immigrants from ICE. People who go on strike for living wages and humane conditions. People who call out the bad behavior of their loved ones. People who oppose abuses of power.

To try to be "cool" by transgressing against other people, and against the societal rules and guidelines that protect other people, is pathetic. I'd also call it evil, but I don't want anyone thinking it might be a cool kind of evil. Abusing people is just a base, boring, embarrassing evil. It's a "kinda want to kick that cat so I can feel like I matter" sort of evil. It's not something anyone would aspire to, or even admit to.

Don't push people around because you can. Don't be Ferris Bueller. You want to be badass and don't-give-a-fuck cool? Do some things you enjoy, and some things that matter. Brush off the haters (quickly; don't spend effort feeding the trolls, because they want to waste your time). Stick up for someone who is getting bullied. If your friends and family are being douchebags, talk to them about it.

Do you want to achieve master level "don't care what they think"? Bare your goddamn soul. Talk about the things you're scared to talk about. The things you hope, the things you fear, the things that embarrass you, and the things you're ashamed of. Ferris Bueller's high point in the movie wasn't climbing on a float: A scene which attributes to chutzpah what can only be accomplished by rehearsal and cooperation. It was his admitting to the audience that he was worried about the future of his best friendship and his relationship when he left for college. But even Ferris Bueller didn't have the guts to say it to anyone in his world. It would have been even cooler if he had told someone, "I always take control because I'm constantly worried about what will happen if I don't. I don't trust other people to make good decisions: Not even my best friend and my girlfriend. I'm starting to see that this is a real problem that I need to work on. And I'm scared that when I'm gone next year, Cameron and Sloane with realize that they have other options. Eventually, they're going to figure out that I'm a really shitty friend and they don't need me." But vulnerability takes courage, and Ferris Bueller isn't *that* cool.

Yeah. I said it. Show some gumption and some courage and some concern for others, and you can be cooler than Ferris Bueller.

(Also, don't pull someone into the pool if they're shouting, "No!" Seriously.)

We finally saw "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" last night.

I'm going to discuss it, in ways that are moderately spoilery, ( behind a *SPOILERS* cut )

Gratuitous, irrelevant link: What if Harry Potter, the chosen one, had turned out to be a squib, how do you think history would have turned out differently? An alternate universe fanfic, in summary form. Still fairly long, but notably thoughtful and engaging. (Thanks, Sami and Tara!)

"Do you like kung fu movies?"
"I don't know."
"Wanna find out?"
"Sure!"

So I gave her a selection of old classics and modern movies. She likes Jet Li, so she picked "Kiss of the Dragon". But afterward, I felt like we hadn't seen a kung fu movie. We had merely seen a good action movie with several kung fu sequences.

So what makes a kung fu movie a kung fu movie? My thoughts, sequentially:

As an integral part of the plot, the star learns kung fu (or karate, jeet kun do, capoeira, whatever; I'm not picky).

A mysterious old teacher pushes the young star through rigorous training in secret techniques with which he will avenge himself upon the antagonists who earlier kicked his ass / killed his father / dishonored his school. There are cool training sequences with inspiring music. But wait, there are some exceptions.

The movie is about martial arts.

Whose kung fu is the best? Okay, this covers Bruce Lee's "The Chinese Connection" (sort of), Jackie Chan's "Legend of the Drunken Master" and Jet Li's "Fearless". The lead characters are already badasses (or the learning is off-screen). If they ever lose a battle after childhood, it's due to external circumstances (e.g., rigged fight), alcohol or (occasionally) lack of the "determined look that wins battles". But that still leaves out some important stuff.

Most of the action scenes are martial arts. The final showdown is a protracted martial arts battle.

This now covers some movies without which a kung fu movie collection would be incomplete. The world's best martial artist (who somehow starts the movie with no reputation whatsoever) defeats, e.g., the crime syndicate (Bruce Lee's "Return of the Dragon" or Chuck Norris' "An Eye for an Eye"). (And this properly excludes "Kiss of the Dragon," which fits neither condition.)

Most of the action scenes are martial arts.

That previous one is pretty vague. And yet, what about Jet Li's "Hero," or Bruce Lee's "Game of Death," in which the final showdown wasn't a battle at all? ("Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" also lacks the protracted final showdown, though it fits the second definition.)

While the last definition is simple, it seems kind of... Graceless? And perhaps vague enough to include things that I might not call kung fu movies. Maybe a kung fu movie is like poison ivy: You can describe the typical characteristics, but they can vary widely in individual examples. And what constitutes "most"? What kind of definition is that? ("Kiss of the Dragon" had plenty of martial arts, but also lots of stunts, gunplay and hitting people with improvised weapons. Plus the gimmicky deus ex machina. And Jet Li is so fast and smooth at kung fu that it comes off as a bit casual and downplayed. (Going in now. Yeah, there happen to be armed guards in the way. So what?))

Any thoughts?

Gratuitous links: Eight historic symbols that mean the opposite of what you think. (Thanks, Seamus and cluegirl!)
Conan the Barbarian: The Musical (Thanks, Tom!)
I'm Comic Sans, Asshole. (Thanks, jnala!)