Monkey's Paw

[blimix]

We had a very nice filk night on Friday.

I recently playtested a parlor game whose idea came to me about a year ago. It's called "Monkey's Paw," and is played in a manner reminiscent of Telephone Oracle. Each person around the table writes, at the top of their paper, a wish. The wish is phrased as if it were being asked of a benevolent genie. (i.e., no need for careful, airtight or conditional phrasing.) The papers are then passed around the table, and all of the players now become the malevolent genie, or monkey's paw. They write, at the bottom of each page, how they would grant the wish in some unpleasant manner. They fold the bottom of the page to hide their response, and pass the paper on. (So each wish is granted in several different ways.)

The results of our first game:

• I wish for all gerbils to feel cherished and respected by humanity.
  
  • All hail our gerbil overlords! It is our pleasure to work ourselves to death in the pellet mines, and our satisfaction to be fed to them immediately afterward.
    
  • Richard Gere may no longer own gerbils.
    
  • Bow before the image of the great god Gerbilia, or die, human scum!
    
  • Who can subvert such a nice wish?!? Even evil genies have a heart!
    
  • Congress frees all gerbils and give them the vote, and they pass laws that humans must be their servants.
  
  
• I want to have a supermodel girlfriend.
  
  • She will be vapid, soulless and be missing her frontal lobe.
    
  • Authorities are baffled by Marilyn Monroe's freshly turned grave site. She won't leave your bedroom, and the rotting bits are ruining the carpet. Ew.
    
  • Granted. You'll need some super glue.
    
  • So tell me, how's that new career as a drug dealer working out for you?
    
  • I give the girlfriend, but she's really mean.
  
  
• I wish to win the lottery.
  
  • Here's your free lottery ticket.
    
  • Okay, winning lottery ticket coming right up! One of those $10 wins.
    
  • You win a million but lose the ticket.
    
  • You are forced to give it all to raving Def Leppard fans with battleaxes.
    
  • You do win. They tell you that you won $20,000,000, but not that it's to be paid over the next 300 years. You mistakenly blow a lot of money at once, and are forced into bankruptcy.
  
  
• I wish to be a famous musician.
  
  • You are now Kurt Cobain, R.I.P.
    
  • You are now John Lennon.
    
  • Poof! You're Mozart! Unfortunately, you're also dead.
    
  • A horn grows from your head that plays music, and you get interviewed by People magazine.
    
  • You will be adored by millions of creaming axe murderers.
  
  
• I wish for the power to grant an unlimited amount of wishes.
  
  • Okay! Become a genie! You can grant unlimited numbers of wishes, but not your own. Can I interest you in being evil?
    
  • Your ability to grant wishes works only when a person you hate makes a wish.
    
  • You will continuously be plagued by wishful throngs of teeming butterflies.
    
  • You are now a genie in a lamp. Cosmic Power; itty-bitty living space.
    
  • You can grant as many wishes as you want, but they won't come true.
  
  
• I wish I had fame, fortune, and really nice hair.
  
  • Your hair is so beautiful that you are offered a half million to have it cut and made into a wig.
    
  • The fame will be squandered on plots to maim rats. Fortune will facilitate the destruction of high chairs worldwide. The glorious hair will cover the most stunningly beautiful feature you possess.
    
  • Poof! You are now Jessica Simpson.
    
  • You get a DVD, a cookie, and a coupon to Super Cuts.
    
  • Congratulations on your marriage, Lady Godiva!

Comments

[zimarra.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of the "ruin my wish" game.

One person writes a wish..
Next person goes "Granted" but.. and (lists something bad) then lists their own wish
Next person answers that wish with granted but (something weird happens) and so forth..