Dealing with depression and/or burnout

[blimix]

Depression

Things that I (and others) find helpful against depression:

• Time with loved ones
  
• Time in nature
  
• Cuddling
  
• Singing
  
• Walking
  
• Laughing (e.g., watching comedy. Watching comedy with someone else who is also laughing can work even better.)
  
• Dancing
  
• Exercise
  
• Kissing / sex
  
• Sensory bombardment (e.g., loud music, rushing wind. Avoid experiences that will damage you physically or emotionally.)
  
• Learning (facts or skills). (This releases a bit of dopamine.)
  
• Exploring someplace new
  
• Knocking a couple of items off of a paper to-do list. Cross them off in pen.
  
• Helping others and practicing kindness
  
• Getting some sun. Let your eyes see lots of blue sky and green vegetation.
  
• Getting out of the house. Say "yes" to invitations.
  
• Getting to know new people.
  
• Eating or drinking some calories, or hydrating.* (Learn your personal nutrition needs, and what you respond to.)
  
• Petting animals
  
• Sleeping enough (Here are my sleeping tips.)
  
• Yoga. (Make sure to breathe deeply.)
  
• Mindful breathing meditation
  
• Journaling (about what you're really thinking about)
  
• Creating art (e.g., music, videos, poetry, drawing)

* I'm honestly hesitant to mention this, because so much of American "conventional wisdom" regarding nutrition and hydration is pure myth. But sometimes you really do need a calorie boost, some water, or some electrolytes. Please do be careful about habitually treating depression with food.

Distraction by activities with "flow" can help, but this is a mixed bag. "Flow" is immersion in an activity that occupies you enough that you forget the rest of the world, and you just get "into the zone". I've done that with reading, programming, creating art, and playing certain immersive video games. This is particularly useful for reducing stress and for alleviating the symptoms of burnout. However, during a major depression, it is possible to get "lost" in these activities. You might depend on them (as with any addiction) for escape from the real world. Spending a day playing video games is relaxing. Spending all day every day playing video games puts your entire life on pause, and brings you no closer to healing.

Meds: Medication for depression is also a mixed bag, that I mostly won't get into here; that's a job for your professional(s), or for others with the relevant expertise. There's one important thing professionals won't tell you: The supposed benefit of SSRIs becomes much smaller when you compare their effects to those of an active placebo: A placebo with side effects, which convinces people that it's really doing something. This doesn't mean that they won't work, just that your odds aren't nearly as good as one might hope based on the original approval studies.

I had to leave "gratitude journal" off of the list. Many lists cite it, so there must be something to it, and it certainly is worth mindfully noting the positive things in life. Maybe keeping a gratitude journal works for people who live in civilized countries, or who can insulate themselves from their society. But when you're an empathic person trying to survive brutal, fascist, patriarchal, end-stage, capitalist feudalism, the paucity of material might be more depressing than uplifting. You might consider making one "gratitude list," and occasionally adding to it, rather than attempting to create one daily.

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Burnout

If you are suffering from both burnout and depression, be careful: Some of the activities that help with depression can worsen burnout, and vice versa. Sometimes they can still be worth it: I might rate a party with loved ones as "+3 vs. depression; -2 vs. burnout". Your rating system will depend on your circumstances. People with whom you feel completely at home may not worsen your burnout at all. Or a party might use up all of your spoons, making everything much harder. In my estimation, the activities from the above list that might exacerbate burnout are: Time with loved ones (if the setting is demanding), exercise (too much), sensory overload (if bothersome), learning (if not pleasurable/entertaining), getting out of the house (if it takes effort), and getting to know new people.

Things that I (and others) find helpful against burnout:

• Time alone, especially with the phone silent or off, and without risk of interruption/intrusion.
  
• Activities with "flow"
  
• Rest
  
• Writing down to-do items, to get them off your mind without risking forgetting them.
  
• Writing down intrusive thoughts/memories. Sometimes your brain can let it go once it's stored safely elsewhere.
  
• Creating art
  
• Time in nature
  
• Cuddling
  
• Singing
  
• Walking
  
• Making a conscious choice to not pursue the to-do list, for the moment
  
• Staying home. Say "no" to invitations. (Thank them, and ask them to keep inviting you to stuff in the future, in case you feel differently then. There's no need to give excuses for saying no: It's your prerogative.)
  
• Petting animals
  
• Having a quiet, calm environment
  
• Sleeping enough
  
• Giving yourself time to transition between tasks, or even a quick break activity. (I like discrete logic puzzles for this.)
  
• Yoga
  
• Mindful breathing meditation
  
• Prepare ahead of time for activities/excursions. (For example, ready food/clothes/equipment the night before.)
  
• Play like nobody is watching.
  
• Stim: Do physical things and seek sensations that put you at ease. "Stimming" is a word often associated with Autistic people, but everybody stims. Click a pen, tap your foot, hum, perch on your chair, lie on the ground, sway to the music, get a massage, whatever you like.
  
• Improve your social support. Lean on other people. Ask for help when feasible. Develop friendships, and avoid abusive people. (Learn the signs of emotional abuse.)
  
• Take time off from work. (I write "mental health day" on the time off request. I take pride in taking care of my needs.)
  
• Learn to say "no" to requests. Be firm with anyone who disrespects your boundaries and your autonomy.
  
• Be mindful of both the cognitive energy and the physical energy that tasks take, when deciding what to do.
  
• Don't deal with work related stuff outside of work hours, whenever possible.
  
• Avoid cognitive fallacies about your unfinished tasks. Anxiety about the things you still haven't done often rests on forgetting either what you did accomplish today, or the fact that there were good reasons for not accomplishing them. If you got redirected by some bullshit, congratulations, you successfully dealt with a bunch of bullshit! If you spent five hours on one task and it's still not done, congratulations on getting through five hours of a pain in the ass task! If your pain or disability flared up, that's not a failing: You successfully made it through a day that an abled person would have handled much worse, had they been in your shoes. And if you rested, go you for resting!
  

Therapy: Some sources cite cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) for treating burnout. There are adequate studies supporting both.

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Other

It's worth noting, researching, or consulting about whether you're really dealing with depression, burnout, anxiety, stress, inertia, insomnia, OCD, bipolar disorder, gender dysphoria, a personality disorder, PTSD, SAD, some disorder I haven't mentioned, ASD, ADHD, malnutrition, physical illness, and/or the challenges of living in an oppressive, classist, racist, ableist, ageist, sexist, fatphobic, cisheteronormative, Christian supremacist society. You want to make sure you're addressing the right issue. I've seen people diagnosed with everything under the sun until they found that the cause was sleep apnea, or allergies. Don't assume that the symptom is the problem.

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Obligatory: I am not a doctor. I'm just the knowledgeable friend with the resources to figure out stuff that the doctors have missed, with astonishing regularity.