Passover thoughts and more

[blimix]

At a Passover Seder, there is a custom to set a place and pour a glass of wine for the spirit of Eliyahu (Elijah), who is basically like a Santa Claus who eats your milk and cookies but leaves no presents.

It seems to me that the total value of all the wine given to Eliyahu in even a single year is far greater than the monetary value of a human life. So, at your next Seder, poison Eliyahu's wine and get rid of him for good. You'll be doing the world a favor.

(Disclaimer: Don't actually do this.)

...

Okay, so Memories Pizza keeps making the news as it rakes in the dough from its GoFundMe campaign. But remember, that's one single bigoted business that is $842,592 richer. Meanwhile, its 29,166 bigoted contributors are collectively $842,592 poorer. Because money is more useful to people who have less of it, this crowdfunding is causing a decrease in the utility of that money for the bigot community as a whole. Good job!

...

I recently helped my friends make this collaborative music video of "Love Is an Open Door" from "Frozen".

...

I also recently tried to buy gaffer's tape. Apparently, it's too "music/electronics" to be found at a hardware store, too "electronics/hardware" to be found at a music store, and too "music/hardware" to be found at an electronics store. (So I ordered some online, but I still have no idea where people typically buy it.)

...

Gratuitous links:

TIE Fighter (short animated film) (Thanks, Jason O.!)

Phoebe and her Unicorn, a webcomic by Dana Simpson (author of "Ozy and Millie") that is a spiritual successor to "Calvin and Hobbes," is going into print in newspapers! I am pleased.

5 Brainwashing Tricks That Work No Matter How Smart You Are

Things My Male Tech Colleagues Have Actually Said to Me, Annotated

Now on Display: Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet (Thanks, Brian!)

Want to Find Terrorists? Check Out Your Church. (Short; please read through to the end, or you will miss the point.)

Comments

[beth_leonard]

I had to Google the Memories Pizza thing. I'm not comfortable calling everyone who contributed to the campaign bigots. I'm not even comfortable calling the people who run the pizza place bigots either. In general, I don't think name-calling helps.

Pizza places don't get many calls to cater weddings. Thinking about who they would or wouldn't serve at a wedding isn't something they'd spend cycles thinking about. It's like a reporter asking the owner of a small, vegan, restaurant if they'd be willing to serve the salad alongside the meat at a Cattle Industry Executive's wedding. Not having thought about it before, and having had a hypothetical presented in that way so as to seem distasteful, the owner is likely to say "no."

It's possible that if it were a real person who was actually walking into the restaurant asking for catering services and explaining the situation, they owner might just have likely have said "yes" or even "It's not something I've done before, let me think about it." or "Gah! weddings are crazy, I'm never doing another one of those no matter who is getting married!"

To have the owner's lively hood removed and family threatened because of an answer to a hypothetical question is not ok.

Building a viable small business in a small town is hard work. In small towns where people are not mobile and community is everything, you can't just pack up and get a job elsewhere because there are no other jobs, and moving elsewhere means losing all your support network.

Calling the contributors bigoted separates people into an "us" vs. "them" camp where ideological purity is mandatory. You never win people over to your side by calling them names, but you do make the argument grow.

If you haven't already seen it, watch the video "This Video will make you Angry":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE3j_RHkqJc
[links to start around 2:34, if you're pressed for time, you can even start around 4:52 and get most of it.]

--Beth

Name calling and identity politics

[blimix.livejournal.com]

In general, I don't think name-calling helps.

In that it will not win anyone over, you are quite correct. My aim, however, was nothing of the sort. I was offering comfort to people who were upset at seeing bad behavior rewarded through crowdfunding.

That said, there are very different sorts of "name-calling". If you call a woman a "dyke," she may rightly take offense because the word is used as an insulting version of "lesbian". Since there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian, all of the negative connotation of "dyke" comes from the intended insult. Conversely, if you call someone a "mugger," and they take personal offense, that would be weird, even though the word is negative. "Mugger" is only negative because it describes a behavior that harms others. If a person's moral system permits robbing strangers at gunpoint, then "mugger" isn't even negative for them. If a person's moral system prohibits robbing strangers at gunpoint, then that person considers the word negative. They would best avoid it, not by asking others "not to call me a mugger," but by taking personal responsibility for their actions, and refraining from harming people by mugging them.

In this context, the word "bigot" has an interesting power. Its negativity stems from the fact that bigotry (like mugging) harms people. And like mugging, if a person doesn't want to be labeled a bigot, all they have to do is refrain from engaging in harmful behaviors (including the spread of malicious lies) toward an entire group of people. Conversely, if their moral system permits causing such harm, then being called out on perpetrating that harm cannot be insulting.

This brings us to what I like about the word "bigot": When someone takes personal offense at it, they are admitting their own hypocrisy by revealing their understanding of bigotry as a negative thing. They're effectively saying, "Please stop calling me out on my unfounded hatred/fear of entire populations, and the morally wrong behaviors that I exhibit toward those populations."

(If you think that I'm wrong, and that "bigot" is insulting because it is meant to be an insulting version of something that is morally good, then please point me toward its good synonym.)

Your comparison to a vegan restaurant is unconvincing, because the detail that you changed, in order to show how liberals might consider similar behavior reasonable, is the very detail that we find objectionable. Veganism is compassionate behavior that becomes more likely, the more someone knows (e.g., that animals suffer horribly in factory farms). Bigotry is hateful, harmful behavior that becomes less likely, the more someone knows (e.g., that homosexuals are people (http://time.com/3756860/jk-rowling-harry-potter-dumbledore-gay/) like everyone else). Nobody is objecting to the owners of Memories Pizza carelessly revealing their bigotry; they are objecting to the bigotry that they carelessly revealed.

To have the owner's lively hood removed and family threatened because of an answer to a hypothetical question is not ok.

Nobody is arguing that threats are okay. Once an issue goes national, there are going to be stupid trolls on both sides of it. In any case, their livelihood was not removed. (In fact, you can't buy advertising like they got!) They chose to close the shop, and then reopened, a change of heart which they explicitly attributed to the words of support they received, rather than the money. The fundraiser really was nothing but people rewarding each others' bad behavior for the sake of identity politics.

Thank you for the link; I had already seen the video. My intention in this post wasn't to take a stand, or fly a liberal flag. It was just to present a certain silver lining for a situation that many people find depressing. (Of course, this could not be done without implicitly flying that flag. My recent posts, asking readers to respect people (http://blimix.livejournal.com/tag/respect) of various races, genders, and disabilities, show that I am willing to mark myself as a progressive liberal. But I refrain from flying the liberal flag for its own sake, when there is nothing to be gained beyond showing my inclusion in a group.)

Re: Name calling and identity politics

[beth_leonard]

I think it's like the other article you pointed to -- I see different facts. You see bad behavior rewarded by crowdfunding and label the crowdfunders bigots. I see bad behavior that is a product of the culture in which it was raised, being punished disproportionately, and the second wrong being righted through crowdfunding. The first wrong still needs to be addressed, but it can be done through compassionate dialog, not threats.

My claim is that asserting that all the people who helped the pizza chain are bigots is treating them as a class and incorrect labeling. Helping the injured party, regardless of the injured's beliefs or status, does not make the helper a party to those beliefs, nor does it make the helper cause harm to others.

If a liberal believes that the hate mail and death threats which were heaped upon the pizza company were a punishment unfitting the crime, and that person wishes to mitigate the damage done by their peers, it does not make the liberal who contributed to the campaign a bigot by definition.

If someone marching for better policing in Oakland is a part of a demonstration where some people do irreversible violence to the Oakland police during the demonstration, and that person later contributes to a financial campaign helping the families of the officers injured, it does not mean that the giver thinks that the police are always right; it means that the person thinks that the damage done to the officer was wrong.

--Beth

Re: Name calling and identity politics

[blimix.livejournal.com]

This is true. Oakland is probably a poor example for many reasons that are fairly irrelevant, but I see your point. I would, however, be willing to bet that at least 99% of the contributors are bigots. There are far better donation opportunities available for people with decent values.

Re: Name calling and identity politics

[beth_leonard]

And like mugging, if a person doesn't want to be labeled a bigot, all they have to do is refrain from engaging in harmful behaviors (including the spread of malicious lies) toward an entire group of people.

I would that the above assertion were true. Unfortunately, it's not. The term is loaded and has been frequently misused. People have been called bigots for engaging in scientific research to see if it is possible that there may be genetic differences in learning styles and outcomes. People have been called bigots for failing to contribute to whatever the current cause is, even if they happen to disagree with the methods used. Autism Speaks comes to mind as a "good" cause that some people disagree with the tactics of. Merely having different priorities for different ways to solve problems can get someone labeled a bigot.

This brings us to what I like about the word "bigot": When someone takes personal offense at it, they are admitting their own hypocrisy by revealing their understanding of bigotry as a negative thing.

I'm not sure if you're attempting to label me either a bigot or a hypocrite in this statement. I don't think so, as I'm not taking personal offense that the word was used, but more I'm pointing out that I think it hurts your cause to use it.

I believe that I have a consistent moral code which is born out through my words and actions. In High School, I attended 6 weeks of lectures on sexuality and the church that was offered by my church and included both a gay priest and a member on the Episcopal Synod (anti-gay branch). (Those were each on different days.)

I made up my mind then that homosexuality was not a sin. It does not keep people from God. I had a long, hard, process of convincing my father, and eventually my grandfather, of the same views. (My mom had never really thought about it before, but agreed with me right away when the two of us discussed it.) I know what it's like to be on the inside of a Christian family. Just as many homosexuals really, truly struggle with accepting being gay, and being comfortable with themselves and who they are, many Christians also struggle with it and what it means in the world, as part of that moral code in which they were raised.

When it was hidden, it was easier to ignore the problem or to think it was wrong. When it is in the open, for many it is as wrong as murder because there is a visceral repulsiveness to considering the act. Coming to grips with it being ok is a long, hard process. I can only imagine that it must be similar for vegan parents whose child decides to begin eating meat. There is a visceral repulsiveness. It takes the support to say, "This is ok. Your child is not broken."

I have compassion for those who have a hard time finding wedding caterers and support in small towns, but just like MLK was far more effective in making changes than Malcom X, violence is not the answer. Understanding and dialog is what helps with the change.

--Beth

Re: Name calling and identity politics

[blimix.livejournal.com]

Right. I should have said, "... if a person doesn't want to be accurately labeled a bigot..." There's nothing stopping someone from making mistaken claims. But my point is about the offensiveness of the word. If someone makes a false accusation against me, it is the accusation, not the word, that I will find offensive.

Your interpretation of my use of the phrase "personal offense" is correct: There is no accusation aimed at you here.

Likewise, I do not deny that overcoming one's own bigotry is difficult. But doing so is a moral necessity. There is no need to make excuses for bigotry, as the harm is not in my opinion of the bigot, but only in their own behavior.

[icarusfallen8.livejournal.com]

I had always thought that Gaffer's Tape was another name for Duct Tape.
I guess not.

Home Depot carries it ... online.
Guitar Center carries it, though I'm not sure if that is online only.

[icarusfallen8.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the info on Dana Simpson.

She was supposed to come out with a comic called Girl, that never happened.

[kirin]

I'm fairly sure that Phoebe is what Girl became after several editing passes. There were a few different starts up online before this version got a syndication deal.

[kirin]

Out of curiosity, do people not actually go ahead and drink the wine after Eliyahu has had ample time to take whatever he wants from the glass?

[blimix.livejournal.com]

I believe it varies. By complete coincidence, the question of whether the wine should be drunk is awaiting Eliyahu's arrival to be settled. Details here. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passover_Seder#Bareich_.28Grace_after_Meals.29) Now that I think of it, this sounds like an obvious conflict of interest. (Eliyahu: "Heck yeah, save the wine for me! Suckers.")

[blimix.livejournal.com]

Correction to my previous answer: I am informed that the wine is typically drunk the next day, or otherwise poured back into the bottle. That pretty much wrecks the entire premise of my spectracidal fantasy. (Then again, so does the fact that Eliyahu is not actually expected to drink the wine.)

[whildbill.livejournal.com]

Gaffer's Tape- I would have thought to go to the local Theatrical Supply firm. (Presuming, of course, that such exists. I have not checked in the Capital Region in a number of years.)

[whildbill.livejournal.com]

And, thus inspired, I went and checked.... Albany Theater Supply Co.

And learned that you can get gaffer's tape in colors *other than* black. Which is total news to me; I had thought gaffer's tape was by definition black.

[blimix.livejournal.com]

Convenient; thanks! I didn't even know there was such a place. I got black and gray rolls of tape at a great price, and it looks like they don't carry gray, so I'm still satisfied with my on-line purchase.