Fan Mail (humor)
Apr. 15th, 2004 03:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blimixI received a scathing e-mail. It and my sarcastic response are...
Right here!
I received this letter:
Subject: Get a life jack off
why don't you worry about your own pathetic existence and not try to humiliate other people, let me guess you realized your life is worth shit so you latched yourself to somebody elses misfortune, maybe i should make a site about you... I have the capability and can do a much better job than you did... be careful.
-JD
My response:
Subject: Re: Fan mail
Thank you, JD, for your lovely, tasteful letter of warm congratulations for the R.W. page (which is what, I assume, you are referring to). I am thoroughly flattered by the extent of your devotion to my web presence. Clearly, I have a great fan and admirer in you, if you have taken the trouble to get to know me well enough (despite the obstacle of never having met me nor even having, until now, interacted with me in any way) to consider devoting an entire web site to my homage.
I know that at least ninety-nine percent of what can be found on-line is entirely without recognizable merit. Therefore, to carefully peruse my humble attempt to entertain readers and deride a worthy target, to the point of such a passionate reaction as yours, can only be attributed to a genuine appreciation for the form and/or content of the writing, or to having absolutely nothing worthwhile or even pleasurable to do with one's own time. The latter explanation would of course be unthinkable in the case of one so worthy as yourself. And so I take your devotion as the highest compliment, and wish you warm tidings in return.
Always be well,
Joe
Judging from his defused response, the poor guy had no clue that I was insulting him.
Right here!
I received this letter:
Subject: Get a life jack off
why don't you worry about your own pathetic existence and not try to humiliate other people, let me guess you realized your life is worth shit so you latched yourself to somebody elses misfortune, maybe i should make a site about you... I have the capability and can do a much better job than you did... be careful.
-JD
My response:
Subject: Re: Fan mail
Thank you, JD, for your lovely, tasteful letter of warm congratulations for the R.W. page (which is what, I assume, you are referring to). I am thoroughly flattered by the extent of your devotion to my web presence. Clearly, I have a great fan and admirer in you, if you have taken the trouble to get to know me well enough (despite the obstacle of never having met me nor even having, until now, interacted with me in any way) to consider devoting an entire web site to my homage.
I know that at least ninety-nine percent of what can be found on-line is entirely without recognizable merit. Therefore, to carefully peruse my humble attempt to entertain readers and deride a worthy target, to the point of such a passionate reaction as yours, can only be attributed to a genuine appreciation for the form and/or content of the writing, or to having absolutely nothing worthwhile or even pleasurable to do with one's own time. The latter explanation would of course be unthinkable in the case of one so worthy as yourself. And so I take your devotion as the highest compliment, and wish you warm tidings in return.
Always be well,
Joe
Judging from his defused response, the poor guy had no clue that I was insulting him.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Hmmm
Date: 2004-04-15 12:38 am (UTC)Second, upon rereading my final comment, I amusedly note that he could have said the same thing (i.e., that I had apparently not noticed that I had been insulted).