Random encounter on town level: Mendicant
Jul. 27th, 2005 01:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blimixI almost never give rides to strangers, and thanks to today, I'm not about to start making a habit of it.
On the way out of the Hannaford parking lot, I wound up giving some guy a ride downtown. He said he wanted to catch a 3:15 bus up to Glens Falls, and the city bus wouldn't make the connection. (It was already 2:55.) On the way down, he explained that he hated the homeless shelter in Albany, and so had called and reserved a spot for the night at a place in Glens Falls. And then he asked me for money to help buy the ticket. With all the usual, fast-paced, high pressure spiel that goes along with a begging pitch around here - how he has work lined up there, and will mail me back the money, etc, etc. I did him one better, and offered to pay for the entire ticket myself - I would buy it for him. No repayment needed.
Boy, did that piss him off. So he got somewhat abusive. I was as polite as possible, including firm but delicately phrased objections to his treatment of me, and still accompanied him into the Greyhound station (where I could buy the ticket, rather than the Empire Plaza stop for the upstate tour bus, because one just pays on the bus there), because he hadn't actually refused. He finally did refuse the offer once we were at the desk and I had asked the ticket price (which was less than I had expected). He didn't want to have to wait that long, he said. So he asked me to just drive him to the Plaza, which I did, because there was still a chance that he needed the bus (even though he clearly would have preferred money). He became very verbally abusive on the way, including threatening violence, warning me not to go to the police, etc. I remained polite and conciliatory the whole time. He was all talk, but I didn't need to test that. Then he tried begging me for money again, when I parked at the plaza. He was being persistent, and I wasn't sure that he would leave the car. But I told him, "You've been threatening my life. That's not a way to convince people to give you money." That shut him up, and he left.
Was it foolish of me to try to help him? A bit, but I was pretty sure that he was no actual threat. And I had nowhere else to be, so why not go out of my way to help someone when I can? Still, no more rides for strangers in parking lots.
I wish I had a recording of the entire conversation. It was an interesting exercise in restraint and tact while holding firm. And it was, perhaps, a demonstration of the futility of tact in a situation in which someone is unwilling to admit to the reason that they are angry.
On the way out of the Hannaford parking lot, I wound up giving some guy a ride downtown. He said he wanted to catch a 3:15 bus up to Glens Falls, and the city bus wouldn't make the connection. (It was already 2:55.) On the way down, he explained that he hated the homeless shelter in Albany, and so had called and reserved a spot for the night at a place in Glens Falls. And then he asked me for money to help buy the ticket. With all the usual, fast-paced, high pressure spiel that goes along with a begging pitch around here - how he has work lined up there, and will mail me back the money, etc, etc. I did him one better, and offered to pay for the entire ticket myself - I would buy it for him. No repayment needed.
Boy, did that piss him off. So he got somewhat abusive. I was as polite as possible, including firm but delicately phrased objections to his treatment of me, and still accompanied him into the Greyhound station (where I could buy the ticket, rather than the Empire Plaza stop for the upstate tour bus, because one just pays on the bus there), because he hadn't actually refused. He finally did refuse the offer once we were at the desk and I had asked the ticket price (which was less than I had expected). He didn't want to have to wait that long, he said. So he asked me to just drive him to the Plaza, which I did, because there was still a chance that he needed the bus (even though he clearly would have preferred money). He became very verbally abusive on the way, including threatening violence, warning me not to go to the police, etc. I remained polite and conciliatory the whole time. He was all talk, but I didn't need to test that. Then he tried begging me for money again, when I parked at the plaza. He was being persistent, and I wasn't sure that he would leave the car. But I told him, "You've been threatening my life. That's not a way to convince people to give you money." That shut him up, and he left.
Was it foolish of me to try to help him? A bit, but I was pretty sure that he was no actual threat. And I had nowhere else to be, so why not go out of my way to help someone when I can? Still, no more rides for strangers in parking lots.
I wish I had a recording of the entire conversation. It was an interesting exercise in restraint and tact while holding firm. And it was, perhaps, a demonstration of the futility of tact in a situation in which someone is unwilling to admit to the reason that they are angry.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 08:40 pm (UTC)Two times in my life, I've offered to help a beggar by purchasing the thing he supposedly needed, rather than handing over money, and both times I was met with a similar attitude - well; never violence; but a change in the story. It's enough to make one pretty cynical, and I don't help beggars anymore.
Beggars in Madison are sometimes so bold as to beg for money for beer.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 08:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-28 12:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-28 02:50 pm (UTC)I've had quit a few ask for money for alcohol, which can win points for honesty, but not enough as I don't feel I have the money to spare to buy me any alcohol.
Completely off topic - I'd just like to point out that Live Journal's Spell Check function list for my misspelling alchohol - alcohol, and owlishly. Owlishly? What?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-29 03:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-02 04:34 pm (UTC)Consider yourself Friended. You'll find about twice the number of posts here now.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-02 02:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-02 04:31 pm (UTC)