Fly smashing depthlessfulness

[blimix]

I was reminded of this by mistress_nomad's post mentioning her dad killing houseflies.

Maybe three or four weeks ago, I was awakened by a pesky housefly. As it buzzed around me, an intuition told me to just grab it in midair.

Huh? Okay, I've caught and killed flies in many interesting ways. I've whacked them with damp bar mops. I've trapped them under plastic containers. I've shot them with rubber bands (enough to have developed considerable skill at this). I've knocked a housefly into some ice, such that it became cold and inert. I've stunned a deer fly with a hat. Once, I even defeated a deer fly by breathing on it. No, my breath wasn't that bad. It was flying around my head, out in the woods, and I deliberately blew it backward into a spider web. Sometimes, I'm fast enough to whack a sitting housefly with my bare hand. Twice, out of countless attempts, I have managed to grab barehanded a sitting housefly. Yes, I know they jump up and backward when they take off, but this has almost never helped me to actually catch them.

So this intuition caught me off guard. I can sometimes catch flour moths in midair, but they're slow. Houseflies are fast and nimble - far more so than I. Nonetheless, I sat still for a moment, and just as the fly shot by, I grabbed at it. And there it was, buzzing furiously within my closed fist. (What I was trained to do then was to shake it, throw it hard at the floor, then stomp it. Instead, I shook it, threw it hard at the floor, realized I was barefoot, grabbed my shoe, and smooshed it just as it recovered from the shaking.)

That very evening, I started to mention this odd occurrence to my earliest guests at Philosophy Dinner. With the first sentence of my story not yet complete, another housefly buzzed by me. With no conscious intention, my hand shot out and grabbed it in midair.

WTF? Two for two?!? Okay, maybe I'm a Zen master, but I didn't know that really worked the way it does in the movies. ;-)

The next logical step, which occurred to both my guests and me, was to try with chopsticks. So every four or five days, I've been making an attempt. Unfortunately, the Force hasn't been with me; I haven't even caught a flour moth that way. I've had these chopsticks by my computer for a few weeks, and they remained clean until yesterday evening, when I found a dead moth stuck to the tip of one of them.

I guess the Force works in mysterious ways.

(BTW, while we're on the subject, I do try to kill bugs quickly, without torturing them, despite my suspicion that their nervous systems are too simple to experience "pain and suffering" the way we think of it.)

In conceptually related news, spending two years not firing a single arrow seems to have greatly improved my archery skill.

(Just as I'm posting this, it occurs to me to put those two ideas together. No, I am not going to shoot at insects in my house with arrows. Though icarusfallen8 did just discover that my walls are made of Styrofoam...)

Comments

[dolohov.livejournal.com]

Oh, real bugs, not the software kind.

Why not suction-cup arrows?

[blimix.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* I'm using zimarra's hunting bow. I think that any kind of arrow, whether tipped with suction cup, beanbag, Nerf or what-have-you, would damage the walls.

Though that might be a satisfying short-term solution for software bugs.

[mistressjennfer.livejournal.com]

*snerk*
that comment about the archery skills made me think about my discovery that i bowl better with a couple of beers in me... :)

[blimix.livejournal.com]

Are you referring to your aim with archery or rubber bands? Or just aim in general? I learn by doing. Reading advice has been unhelpful; once I shoot enough (arrows or rubber bands), I just notice that some random variation in my technique works better. Then I try to learn from it. (Also, practice is good. Not because it helps to perfect one's technique, but because it makes it easier to not think about one's technique. Thinking too much will ruin the shot and drown out one's intuition. It sounds like you're familiar with this problem.)

I don't know whether your request was joking, but here's a simple and easy fly-killing technique: Find a big, heavy rubber band. (Normal length, just thicker and/or wider than usual.) Get it ready to fire, then approach the fly slowly. If you make no sudden motions, the fly will let you get your forward finger or thumb very close. When you fire, do not jerk your hand/finger forward. (That warns the fly.) As long as you have good firing technique (which mainly consists of having your forward finger or thumb pointing at the target so that it does not block the back end of the rubber band), and have enough tension on the rubber band, it will be too fast for the fly to dodge. And you'll be close enough that aim doesn't matter. (But remember that your leading finger/thumb will deflect the back of the rubber band slightly; compensate for this.) With practice, you can improve your aim and kill from a distance. (Note that the rubber band will frequently maim the fly rather than kill it, so make sure to finish the job. Heavier rubber bands will do more damage.)

[zimarra.livejournal.com]

I need you back here in Ithaca-
There was another pesky housefly here that needed to be killed.
I hope that you are having fun with my hunting bow without me. I'm glad it's getting use.

[icarusfallen8.livejournal.com]

Oh thanks - mention my name in a post about killing why don't you.
You know - that thing I trained myself not to do. :P
Interesting to hear about, but not something I'm fond of.
Using ballistics in any form though is something I am always interested in.

I should stop by sometime to pick up the spare set of car keys you still have.

Random Meme

[zimarra.livejournal.com]

This is cool! Look! if you combine us together, youg et to breathe Fire!