Car fun. No, really!

[blimix]

Fiddling with a car is complicated, for someone who has no clue what he's doing. The current process looks something like this:

Google for how to "change spark plugs".
Decide to order spark plugs only after I know that I can replace them.
Look under the hood. Fail to find anything resembling spark plugs.
But hey, here's a set of four wires that disappear under this mysterious panel.
What are those screws with the six-pointed star shapes, holding the panel in place?
All of them are rusty; one is loose. I have an Allen wrench that turns it. The others are hopeless.
Go to hardware store. Ask for a "screwdriver bit with a six-pointed star head that fits the screws in my engine; my car's right outside". Suddenly feel foolish for not having brought in the loose screw.
Select a TORX screwdriver whose head looks like the right size. Persuade the salesman to accompany me outside to test it. It works.
Go home. Remove the panel. Bingo! Spark plugs. Carefully and nervously detach one wire.
Immediately realize that I have no wrench sockets deep enough to remove a spark plug.
Wonder how to brush dirt and debris (including dead ants) away from the spark plug hole (as instructed on multiple web sites) when the spark plug is deeply set into what appears to be a funnel constructed for the express purpose of causing dirt and debris to fall into the spark plug hole. (I'm still wondering about that.)
The ruler doesn't fit next to the spark plug. Use a pen to measure the minimum depth of the socket I will need.
Replace wire. Start car. Engine runs smoothly; I infer that I haven't broken anything.
Google for what kind of spark plugs my car takes. Apparently, my car's model and year are never seen together.
Skim the remaining half of the owner's manual.
Oh, *that's* what that lever behind the back seat is for!
Oh, *that's* what that overhead button is for!
Hmm, the manual covers three different engines that I might have, with four possibilities for spark plugs.
Open the hood again. There's the engine model, in big, can't-miss-'em numbers.
Google the part number. Happen to find a page that deciphers its meaning, including the necessary socket width.
Google sockets. Discover that I also need to know the drive width. Measure the shaft width of my socket wrench, on the assumption that "drive" means "shaft".
Return to hardware store:

"Hi, I need a six-point, five-eighths-inch deep socket for a three-eighths-inch drive."
"You need a 6.58 inch deep socket?"
"No, sorry. I need a deep socket that's five-eighths-inch. It's a six-point socket. And it's for a three-eighths-inch drive. Oh, and it has to be over an inch and a half deep."
"Okay, let's see what we have. Well, this spark plug socket might work."

Back home. Remove panel. Detach wire. Discover that I need a long shaft for my wrench. Luckily, I have one.
Fail to turn the spark plug. I could use excessive force, but what if I need to do something to release it first?
Nervous. Remove wrench and shaft. Socket stays snugly behind. Fingers are no use. Use channel lock pliers to retrieve socket.
Again browse "How to change a spark plug" sites.
Think: Were there another step, I would have read about it by now. Decide to increase force.
Spark plug turns. Spin it twice. Spin it back; tighten; replace wire. Start car. It still runs smoothly. Huzzah!
Get set to order spark plugs on-line. Think about checking at the NAPA store instead.

That's as far as I've gotten.

Thanks to cryptograms (courtesy of guldan), I still need to do laundry. And I must decide on ingredients for tonight's meal, for which to shop during the dry cycle.

Oh, and last night was great. I joined Ghandi and two of his friends from the Philosophy Department for philosophy discussions. It was just like old times, with Ghandi trying vainly to attack my utilitarianism. But he is better informed these days, so the discussion got much more involved. Fun stuff.

Comments

[coffeebeanben.livejournal.com]

I... clearly need more perspective in my life. Thank you for this. :-)